I’ve been very lucky to avoid dealing with death for most of my life thus far. I had a run-in when I was 11 that I discussed in a previous blog post, and then managed to not lose any family or friends since. I attended the funeral of a friend’s grandmother, a woman who had been nothing but sweet and wonderful to me every time I saw her, but still death hadn’t quite been real to me. I was sad, but felt distanced from it all. Then two weeks ago I got a call that my paternal grandfather was dying, and that I needed to get there quick if I wanted to be able to say goodbye. That was when it became real.
Posts Tagged “Reflection”Ah yes, time for the obligatory post about the past 12 months and how wonderful/awful they’ve been. It seems that everyone tries to do something like this every year as January 1st looms ever closer, but as I sit down and think about everything that’s gone on over the past year, I can see why. It’s nice to think back on everything and know that you can’t change it, so it doesn’t matter how good or bad it was, you can look at it with a unique perspective and see how the ripples of your actions have grown over time. At least one thing in life is constant, and that’s time. It moves forward at the same speed no matter what it is you’re doing, but experiences can make you perceive it differently. There were times that the days seemed to fly by faster than I could enjoy them, and days that crawled by agonizingly slowly, taunting me with each passing moment.
Feb
17
2011
 
Donating BloodPosted by Dean in General Observations, tags: Homosexuality, Rant, ReflectionMy work is doing a blood drive today, something they’ve done one other time since I’ve worked here in the past year. Last time they did the drive, I didn’t bother signing up or even asking if I could try and donate because I knew the answer would be no. This time I decided to go ahead and give it a shot. Maybe the rules have changed. Maybe things aren’t as strict as they were before. Maybe the medical world has removed its head from its ass. Maybe? And yet…no. Everything is as it was before, nothing has changed. Because I am homosexual I am forbidden from giving blood. Another year, another Valentine’s Day, but as the years go by I’m learning just how I really feel about this “holiday”. When I was in high school, if you were single on Valentine’s Day, which I always was, you were considered pathetic. What’s worse is that you didn’t even have to have other people let you know how sad you were considered, because kids were beating themselves up over it – again, myself included. There’s some stigma about this day of the year that being single is some horrible thing to be shunned; if you’re in a relationship, it’s sure to be the most romantic day of the year, but if you’re alone then you might as well curl up on the couch with a tub of ice cream and cry into your blanket while watching sappy romantic movies alone, pining for what could’ve been. Umm…no thanks. Today marks my two year anniversary with Keith. I’m sitting here wondering how it could be possible that it’s been two years since we found each other. It’s hard to remember times without him, and impossible to think of a future without him. I think of things that I still want to do in my life (and there’s a lot) and Keith is there in all my imaginings. He’s a solid fixture in my life and I like knowing that. Two years like a long time to some, but when I think about being with him it all seems to blur together. And in the best way possible. |
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