Posts Tagged “Death”

Earlier this year I had to write about losing a grandparent, and now I’m having to do it all over again. I’ve lived 26 years and had all my grandparents alive and healthy the whole time, and was lucky enough to forge strong memories and emotional ties to all of them. I even have a step-mom who became part of the family when I was young, so that added an additional two grandparents for me to know and love all these years.  I lost my paternal grandfather in March and was rocked by how sudden it came, but I lost my maternal grandmother last night and even the knowledge that it was going to be coming soon doesn’t help ease the pain of knowing she’s gone now.  The hardest and most confusing part of it all is that I feel like I lost my grandmother a long time ago to Alzheimer’s.  It started slowly, but over the past few years became more aggressive and I just became another face of a friendly visitor that said hello to her, and I hate that the last years of her life were lived in confusion.

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I’ve been very lucky to avoid dealing with death for most of my life thus far.  I had a run-in when I was 11 that I discussed in a previous blog post, and then managed to not lose any family or friends since.  I attended the funeral of a friend’s grandmother, a woman who had been nothing but sweet and wonderful to me every time I saw her, but still death hadn’t quite been real to me.  I was sad, but felt distanced from it all.  Then two weeks ago I got a call that my paternal grandfather was dying, and that I needed to get there quick if I wanted to be able to say goodbye.  That was when it became real.

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