We all met up at the church on Saturday afternoon.  I thought I was running late, frantically (but safely) driving across town to make it in time, wanting to be sure to be there for the big surprise when Grandpa got there.  I pulled into the parking lot to see three other cars.  I was actually early?  Hmm.  I went inside and helped to get everything setup, and happily greeted the family and friends that arrived over the next hour or so.  The conversations went something like this:

Random lady: “Hi, how are you today?  And who are you?”

Me: “Hi, I’m the real James Dean, didn’t you know?  I have a blog.  *insert imaginary business card here*  I’m doing swell.  And you?”

Random lady: “Ah, James Dean.  I remember you well.  Last time I saw you was when you were three years old playing with [random toy] at [random place].  Remember me?”

Me: “Of course I do.  You were the only person I ever met when I was three.  You made such a lasting impression.  You and lincoln logs.  That’s what I remember from my childhood.  I’m so glad you could make it.”

That happened about eight times.  When my grandfather actually arrived and saw the dozens of people there waiting for him, for the first time in my life I saw him cry.  I saw a sensitive side of the Navy man I’ve known my whole life, and it only made me respect him more.  He walked around saying hi to everyone, occasionally seeing someone he hadn’t yet noticed and getting choked up all over again.  All the cousins just watched in awe, seeing him as we hadn’t before.

My Aunt Sue’s partner, Regina, made a wonderful 12 minute picture slideshow DVD that we played before lunch, and once more my grandfather broke down and cried, and my grandmother did as well.  It was pictures spanning back to his youth, and included pictures of all his kids and grandkids and friends.  It was moving even to me, and I didn’t know half the people I saw on there.  When it was over, a few people stood up and shared some memories of my grandfather, each moving in their own way.  When that was done, a magnificent cake was brought out, and we all started migrating towards the food and spent the rest of the afternoon mingling.

Everyone took pictures together to commemorate the event.  I’ve only seen a few so far, but the one of my grandparents and the one of my family came out quite nicely.  I can’t wait to see the rest of them.

We had dinner together as a family later that night, then headed back to the hotel where everyone was staying while in town.  We camped out in the breakfast room, claimed it as our own, then stayed there for hours playing poker and Catchphrase just having fun.  I had intended to play a little poker, but I got so caught up in Catchprase that I lost track of time and never ended up getting into a poker game.  I loved it so much, I already went and bought it myself to take to Thanksgiving this year to play with the other side of my family tree.

All in all, it was a wonderful weekend.  Happy 80th Birthday Grandpa.

I was addicted to “Star Trek: Voyager” when it was going through it’s original airing.  I remember once making plans with a friend I hadn’t seen in years, and it happened to fall on the night that a new episode of Voyager would be airing.  I made the sacrifice and missed the episode (which I happen to remember was “Fury”) and met up with my friend.  We had fun, but all night I couldn’t stop thinking about how cool the previews for that episode looked.  Unfortunately, this was back in prehistoric time when DVR didn’t yet exist and we didn’t happen to have a blank VHS tape lying around for me to record it.  I read through the TV guide for weeks waiting for it to re-air and was finally able to rest peacefully a few weeks later when it showed up on late night syndication.

When the series finale aired my senior year of high school I actually made my mom and brother leave the house so I wouldn’t have any distractions during the 2 hour final episode.  I don’t know where they went, and wouldn’t have cared at the time.  I watched in awe as my favorite TV show ever came to an end.  It was very sad.  Coincidentally, Friends also ended my senior year, effectively bringing my interest in television to a halt for the most part.

It’s remained thus until just recently.  Only with the start of new seasons of TV shows this fall have I once again become enraptured in various television shows, and for the first time ever I am having to juggle almost a dozen different shows.  For kicks and giggles, I shall list them and review:

• Sunday
  • Dexter – This Showtime masterpiece is already on it’s 3rd season and so far it’s been phenomenal.  I’ve yet to be disappointed.  The show focuses on main character Dexter Morgan (Michael C. Hall), a serial killer with a conscience.  Adopted as a child by a police officer, it became evident early that Dexter had an insatiable urge to kill.  Over time his father taught him to control his urges and to never let on that he was different than everyone else, eventually deciding to use his son as a tool to take care of the criminals who escape the judicial system.  Fast forward a couple decades and Dexter actually works for the Miami PD as a blood spatter analyst, flawlessly hiding his double life of hunting down criminals and bringing them to his own form of visually stunning justice.  [Season 1 / Season 2]
  • True Blood – HBO premiered this show just last month and while I have enjoyed what I’ve seen so far, I wouldn’t be heartbroken if it didn’t last for years on end.  This show explores a new angle of vampirism, and an interesting one at that.  Japanese scientists have perfected artificial blood, able to satisfy the hunger of vampires and end the need for feeding on humans.  As a result, vampires are able to come out in the open for the first time to be greeted by society.  Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin) is able to read the thoughts of those around her, but upon coming into contact with vampire Bill Compton (Stephen Moyer) she finds that he is a blank slate to her.  Enticed by the one person she can’t mentally hear, she develops a friendship and tests the waters of human/vampire interaction.
• Monday
  • The Big Bang Theory - Only on it’s 2nd season so far, this is by far one of my new favorite television programs.  It’s one of the only truly cerebral humor programs I’ve seen, not relying on slapstick to get laughs.  Leonard (Johnny Galecki) and Sheldon (Jim Parsons) are roommates with exceptionally high IQs, working for the pysics department at Cal Tech.  Sheldon is hopelessly OCD and Leonard is intent on developing a real relationship with the new girl who moved in across the hall, Penny (Kaley Cuoco).  This show has both brains and beauty, though not combined in the same characters, and has jokes that require at least a moderate understanding of science to fully appreciate.  If you watch anything this Fall, I’d recommend Big Bang Theory.  [Season 1]
  • Heroes – Rolling out an incredible 3rd season this year, “Heroes” is a show that will keep you guessing even when it seems to be answering your questions.  The mantra “save the cheerleader, save the world” was the mysterious quote that spanned the entire first season, and still wasn’t fully explained until late in the second season.  Exploring the lives or ordinary individuals who discover they have extraordinary talents, you’ll watch as they either use their gifts for good or evil, and the epic struggle that ensues to keep their existence a secret while saving the very people who would erradicate them if given the chance.  How do they know that’s what will happen?  Prophetic visions and time travel combine to provide views of both the future and the past, revealing two new mysteries for every one they solve.  [Season 1 / Season 2]
• Tuesday
  • Fringe – A brand new show in only it’s 1st season, “Fringe” is an exploration into the outer edges of science as we know it.  Ranging from cloning to teleportation to reanimation, FBI agent Olivia Dunham (Anna Torv) and her new partner Peter Bishop (Joshua Jackson) along with his slightly psychotic father Walter Bishop (John Noble) must piece together the continued emergence of these “fringe” sciences to determine the source.
• Wednesday
  • Pushing Daisies – Entering it’s 2nd season after a shocking season finale last year, this show is brilliant.  With stunning visuals and a melodramatic touch of comedy, this show seems to have it all.  Ned (Lee Pace) learns as a young boy that he has the ability to bring the dead back to life, but he quickly learns that the gift is not without unwritten guidelines.  Once brought back, the individual can only remain alive for 60 seconds before he must touch them once more to return to their previous state of permanent sleep; if he doesn’t, someone nearby will immediately drop dead.  Somewhat of a give and take situation.  In the learning process, he kills his mother, brings her back, and when he doesn’t immediately kill her again his best friend’s father dies in her place.  To make it all worse, when his mother kisses him goodnight and their skin touches, she’s down for the count for good.  Much later he’s reunited with his childhood friend Charlotte “Chuck” Charles (Anna Friel) when her death is publicized as a mysterious murder.  He brings her back, only to develop a relationship where physical contact of any kind can never happen.  The shenanigans they get into from then on can only be described as hilarious. [Season 1]
• Thursday
  • Ugly Betty – Barely into the 3rd season, it had a weak start this year but has already begun to pick up it’s previous steam.  Betty Suarez (America Ferrera) is a very average girl who wants nothing more than to make it big as a writer for MODE fashion magazine.  Made assistant to the editor-in-chief, Daniel Meade (Eric Mabius), in order to keep him in line and organized, Betty immediately realizes that she doesn’t quite fit in with everyone else.  And they don’t hesitate to point it out to her in every little way they can.  This “dramedy” can be very sad and very funny, but has some serious issues addressed throughout the show so far.  I’ve spent some shows laughing, and a couple crying.  I wish I’d known how good it was from the start because I wouldn’t have waited so long to begin watching. [Season 1 / Season 2]
  • Eleventh Hour – Only one episode in so far, and already I’m intrigued.  Dr. Jacob Hood (Rufus Sewell) is a brilliant scientist working for the government, guarded at all times by Rachel Young (Marley Shelton) to keep him from getting into trouble.  Working mysteries and murders from a purely scientific angle, he seems to not be aware of anything else.  His bodyguard, though tough, is his link with the average individual who usually have no idea how to deal with him.  The first episode has numerous opportunities to turn the science aspect into something graphic and disgusting, but they refrained and for that I am glad.  I can already tell I’ll be watching this show from now on.
• Friday
  • Star Wars: The Clone Wars – I hesitated to begin watching this show due to the epic failure that was the the CGI movie released prior to the series’ 1st season debut.  However, I was pleasantly surprised at the superior storylines provided in the first few episodes.  Similar to a previous animated series that Cartoon Network aired, this show is supposed to take place on the Star Wars timeline between Episodes II and III, during the Clone Wars that lead up to Anakin Skywalker’s sith transition.  The backstory is interesting, though in some places more detailed than necessary on characters you don’t care about.  I’ll stick with it for a while to see if it’s able to maintain the quality it’s at now.  It’s too early to tell, but I’m holing onto hope.
  • Sanctuary – Though this is the 1st season airing on SciFi, there was a previous season that was produced solely to be viewed and distributed online, known as “webisodes”.  Having watched a couple of those I’m already seeing why SciFi picked up the online series.  Dr. Helen Magnus (Amanda Tapping) seems to be incredibly long-lived, and keeps a sanctuary of sorts for creatures that don’t quite fit in the normal world.  Whether to protect them from humans, or to protect the humans from them, she provides them a safe environment to live their lives.  She encounters Dr. Will Zimmerman (Robin Dunne) and takes him as her protege to someday take her place protecting the creatures.  Together they must search out these individuals and keep them and the rest of the world safe from each other.

I know, no Saturday shows.  What’s up with that?  Well, to my knowledge there’s nothing good on TV on Saturday nights.  If I’m wrong, please do tell me.  I do prefer a balanced schedule.  All in all, I have quite a bit of TV to keep up with on a weekly basis.  I’m up to the challenge though.  Other than work (for the moment) and school, what else do I have going on in my life?

Terry and I have been friends for about 4 years now, but it seems like so much longer.  We started out having one or two classes together during our undergrad degree, and by the time we were seniors we were taking every class together.  We worked flawlessly together and I was amazed.  I had never liked working in groups or having to rely on anyone else to complete any portion of a project, but he was the exception to the rule.  The most prominent example I remember was an English project we worked on together.  It was the final English course we had to take, and we took on a major project just the two of us instead of working in a bigger group.  The project ended up being a very lengthy paper with massive amounts of research necessary, all organized and put together in a binder to be turned in on presentation day.

Writing the paper and putting the binder together took weeks, and we saw each other almost every day during the meantime.  I’m pretty sure I drove his wife nuts being over all the time, but there wasn’t any way around it at the time.  The hours flew by when we worked together and everything we did seemed almost perfect.  We also had to put together a PowerPoint presentation on our research paper and present our research to the class.  We practiced the flow of the presentation over and over until we had it down perfect, and when we presented it was as smooth as could be.  When all was said and done we were commended by our professor for a job well done, given the highest grade in the class, and asked if she could keep a copy of our binder to use as an example in future courses.  Terry helped me realize that with the right people to lean on, there’s nothing wrong with relying on someone else to help, and that when you do the results can be far better than anything you did alone.

I remember the first time we hung out together outside of school.  His wife had gone home to Australia for her sister’s graduation I believe, and he invited me over to have pizza and play xbox.  It was awesome.  We had a blast and I didn’t leave until well after midnight.  Hanging out and playing xbox became a frequent occurrence throughout the rest of our degree studies, and a little more infrequently afterwards.  I remember staying up late one evening playing Halo together, racing around in vehicles on a level with a beach, and just ramming into each other in an effort to force the other player to go flying through the air.  Once they did so, the one still in a vehicle would chase them down and run over them.  We spent hours doing this, laughing hysterically each time it happened.  Terry taught me that there’s nothing wrong with having fun and acting like a kid every once in a while.  He is one of the goofiest guys I know, but he is also one of the most mature.  There’s a time and a place and he knew where to draw the line.

I remember taking a road trip with him and his wife up to New York to pick up a vintage car he’d bought online.  We drove up in one car and back in two.  The three of us spent two days in a car together on the way up there, then his wife and I spent 3 days in the car together on the way back while he drove behind us by himself.  To pass the time, I had Melinda tell me all about how they met and about when they’d first started dating, then describing their wedding in Australia.  I got the chance to see him through her eyes, and it was a sensitive and caring side of him I’d never seen before.  On the drive back we got lost and Terry got frustrated since he didn’t know where we were going or what was going on.  He text messaged me to pull over and when we all got out of the cars he was more angry than I’d ever seen.  He was tired and hungry and frustrated that we’d been driving around the city for half an hour looking for a motel that we couldn’t seem to find, and he let it all out.  I stood there in shock and fear, not sure who this angry person was in front of me.  A few hours later, once we’d found the motel and got settled in for the night, Terry apologized and made sure everything was alright.  I was shaken for a little while, but realized that we’re all human and sometimes our emotions get the better of us.  Terry taught me that there is no shame in being humble and admitting you messed up.  He knew he’d gone too far and he made sure we knew that he felt bad about it.  Since then, I’ve never seen that angry side of him again.

I remember the day I decided to come out to Terry and tell him the truth about my sexuality.  I’d never said anything before, and he’d never asked.  I wanted him to know the truth because it killed me that for the first few years of our friendship I’d been essentially hiding who I was from him.  I was terrified that he’d be revolted and angry and want nothing more to do with me, and every time I worked up the courage to admit I was gay, I’d have nightmares that he would turn his back on me and walk away, never coming back.  I wanted to tell him in person and texted him to that effect, but he could tell something was wrong and wanted to know what it was.  I told him we could talk about it that night, but he didn’t want to wait.  I eventually told him via text, and this was that conversation (yes, I saved it):

Me: Can you not wait…?
Terry: Gosh…. Now you’re just making me crazy! Nope…. Tell me!!!!
Me: I’m gay. Whether you knew or not, I don’t know for sure, but it scared the hell out of me that if I ever said it out loud you’d never want to talk to me again. You are my best friend and I never wanted to lie or withhold the complete truth, but I was too terrified that I’d lose you. Now I just have to wait and see. I’m so sorry.
Terry: I’ve always been your friend… I’m your friend now… And I will be your friend as long as you want me to be your friend!!
Me: You don’t know how much that means to me. You have no idea.
Terry: Why wouldn’t I be your friend?
Me: You don’t know what it’s like. I’ve lost so many friends. None as close as you, but people just want to get away. To distance from it. To be scared to let something slip and have someone have their suspicions confirmed, and to watch them turn on you so suddenly. … To worry your best friend might be repulsed and want nothing to do with you anymore. I couldn’t stand the thought of it. I just wanted to pretend it wasn’t there.
Terry: If I didn’t stand by you… I wouldn’t be much of a friend… Would I?
Me: I wouldn’t have blamed you though. But no, I guess you wouldn’t. As much as I knew that deep down, fear can twist that.
…
Terry: So… Why did you wait so long to tell me?
Me: I was scared Terry. I can’t tell how often I had nightmares that I told you and you just turned your back and never spoke to me again. You have no idea how real that can feel. I have wanted to tell you for so long. I hate that I’ve lied to you. I hope you can forgive me for that.
Terry: I think under the circumstances… Its understandable!
Me: Thank you.

He came over that night and we talked it out for a couple hours.  For the first time that I can remember, he hugged me that night and told me he loved me, and that nothing would change.  That wasn’t entirely true though, because things did change – we got closer.  There were no more lies or half truths, and it felt so liberating to be able to talk to him about anything.  And Terry was genuinely interested and wanted me to be happy.  He stayed up past midnight one night when I went on a date so that I could call him afterwards to let him know how it went.  He knew I was excited and nervous, and as a friend he wanted to be there for me.  I don’t think I ever told him how much that meant to me.  Our friendship moved to a whole new level and everything just clicked in a way it never has with anyone else before.  He’s been there for me when no one else has and told me the hard truths I always needed to hear, even if I didn’t realize it at the time.  Terry taught me that real friends will love you and respect you no matter what.  It was around this time that he started referring to me as his little brother, and it was only then that I began to realize we had become closer than just friends, and that he truly was like an older brother to me.

Last month he told me that he and his wife would be having a baby.  I was happier than I thought possible, and it wasn’t even going to be my baby.  Unfortunately, that means their planned move to Australia would be coming a little sooner than I’d hoped.  Terry and Melinda had always planned on moving to Australia to raise a family.  It’s something both of them had mentioned to me since when we first became friends.  I began to realize that they’d be moving to Australia before the baby was born and I wouldn’t even get to see it unless I went there to visit; upon this realization, I immediately began saving up money, knowing it’d take a long time to save up enough for an intercontinental flight.  Just recently Melinda let me know that they wouldn’t be ready to move before the cutoff time for her to still be able to fly, so the baby would be born here in the states.  I was practically bouncing off the walls with excitement.  I was so happy that I’d actually get to see and hold their child before they left, that I temporarily forgot they’d still be leaving.  It all just faded to the background.

Terry stayed over at my place this weekend while he had a training class in Dallas that he was attending.  He came over Friday and Saturday night and we played Dungeons & Dragons on the xbox all night, just like old times.  We had a blast playing for a few hours, laughing and making references to games we’d played when we first met.  It was like time hadn’t even really gone by.  When I asked him if he wanted to watch a movie instead for a little while he said no, and asked “how often do we get to play games like this?”  I realized then that not only do we not play often now, but once he moves we won’t be able to play or hang out at all.  The past few days I can’t stop thinking about it and it’s over 9 months away before they leave.  I need to figure out how to just set it all aside for now and not worry about it until the time comes for them to go.

I’ve never had to truly say goodbye to someone in the way that I’ll have to say goodbye to Terry.  Part of me knows it won’t be forever, but I am also realistic in the sense that I know neither of us is going to be flying back and forth every year.  He’s my best friend, my older brother, and probably the person who knows me better than anyone else.  It kills me to know he’s leaving.  I told him last night that I had been avoiding writing about it because if I sat down to write, it made it real.  I’d dredge up old memories and that’s not what I wanted.  But I think he knew that.  It’s important to remember those things.  Even the people who are most important to you won’t always be around.  People move and people die.  It’s life (and death).  In this case, I’m just glad it’s the former and not the latter.  He’s not gone yet though, so I’m going to make sure I make the most of the time we have left, because once he’s gone I know I’m gonna fall apart for a little while.

I remember when Jayme first started telling me all about “Twilight” and how wonderful it was, but I never really had any interest.  A mortal who falls in love with a vampire?  A vampire that doesn’t kill humans?  Blah blah blah.  Not interested, but thanks.  Looking back now, I’m not sure how Jayme didn’t kick me in my shin and tell me to suck it up and just give it a try.  My shins thank her for that restraint.

Suffice it to say, I eventually read the book (after Jayme forced it on me by gifting it to me on my birthday) and practically tore through it in a day or two.  It was amazing.  Romantic and sappy to be sure, and definitely targeted at a teenage audience, but it was beyond great.  Stephenie Meyer did a great job on the book, and ended it in such a way that I couldn’t refrain from immediately demanding Jayme let me borrow “New Moon“, the next book in the series.  She did me one better though and bought it for me as a follow-up present.  I thought she was being a good friend – turns out, she was just trying to convert me into yet another “twilighter”.  Damn you Jayme.  Damn your evil genius.  ”New Moon” was a little bit of a slower read, and I agree with the massive amounts of “Twilight” series addicts who claim it’s their least favorite.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s a good book, it just tends to have elements that drag on and on and left me wondering…was I ever as whiny as Bella?

I attempted to finish the 3rd book, “Eclipse“, before August 2nd release of the final book, but I just didn’t have the time.  It was at this time that I started to realize how involved I was in the books and the entire “Twilight” phenomenon.  It’s almost impossible not to have heard of it by now, especially since there is a movie being made, due to be in theaters November 21st.  At the 2008 Comic-Con this year, the fans of Twilight far outnumbered those attending in support of even the new Star Wars movie.  The questionnaire panel had the author of the books, director of the movie, and quite a few members of the cast.  Over 6000 crazy screaming fans crushed themselves into the auditorium to attend the session and show their obsessive love for the series.

I finished the final book, “Breaking Dawn” a couple weeks ago and refuse to spoil the ending by sharing any real opinions.  I can now readily admit that this series is now one of my favorites, and will eventually reside in my personal library for frequent re-reads.  Part of me wishes I’d started reading earlier, but for the most part I’m glad I waited until the final book came out.  It would’ve been torture to have to wait for the last book to come out after finishing book 3.

What amuses me most is how far spread this addiction has gone, and how much of it is my own doing.  Since I started reading them, I found out my cousin has already read them all numerous times, and after hearing her talk about it for so long only to start hearing me ramble as well, her daughter joined in on the fun.  After I finished the books, I passed them on my friend’s wife and she’s practically devoured them as well.  I’ve also had my step-mom read them and found out two other cousins are reading them while simultaneously talking about them enough to convince their dad that he should read them as well.  I got a coworker to start reading, and an aunt who’s considering reading, and I’m still nudging my mom in that direction as well.

And as if that wasn’t enough, I am a member on a prominent website that discusses rumors related to Apple, and when I realized the forum didn’t have a single reference to the Twilight series, I started my own thread and tried to inspire conversation.  It failed miserably, and what’s worse is that I was actually sad that nobody else really shared my love of the books.  I think this has gone too far.

Hi.  My name is James Dean, and I’m addicted to all things Twilight.  I’m the worst kind of junkie – I not only enjoy my addiction, but I do everything possible to addict others.