January was the beginning of my unemployment.  I’d been laid off from CitiGroup effective the end of December, and I began what I thought would only be a short stint of being jobless.  Little did I know that it would be another 6 months before I would get so much as an interview, let alone another 2 months after that before I’d finally find a job (thanks to a former Citi coworker [further proving that it's more "who you know" than "what you know"]).  In the meantime, I started my own IT consulting company, which didn’t take off quite as well as I wanted.  It kept money flowing in while I had no job, but it wasn’t anywhere near being an income replacement.  The company still exists and I still work under the company name, but it’s not on a level with what I was hoping for.  I can only hope that word will continue to spread, and that it will get bigger over time.

In March I traveled out to Arizona to help out my grandmother while my grandfather was in the hospital.  He spent weeks in the hospital developing numerous complications, and there was a period of time where my grandmother finally broke down, fearing that she would lose him.  While she was in the hospital dealing with doctors and nurses and waiting to hear back after yet another surgery, I had the task of going outside and calling my father and aunt and uncle to let them know that there might come a time shortly when they’d need to come out immediately to say their final good-byes.  The calls were hard to make, but luckily it never came to that.  He recovered, albeit slowly, and I left shortly before he was released from rehab to finally make it home again.  I saw him again many months later when they visited Texas, and it brought a smile to my face to see him up and walking around again after having seen him so weak in a hospital bed for so long.

My birthday rolled around (again) in May, and Keith made it the best birthday ever.  He treated me so special and made a big deal out of it, something that I’ve never really had done, but always not-so-secretly wanted.  He did that for me, and I’ll never forget it.  And it wasn’t just that day either, but all the time.  He makes the littlest things feel so important and wonderful, and it makes life so much more enjoyable.  He gives me reasons to smile when I feel like nothing is going as it should.

Summer flew by and at the end of August I finally got a job.  I’m still a consultant, but a job as a temp is better than no job at all, and maybe someday soon it’ll become a permanent position.  I can only hope.  Going from such a structured and intense work environment like Citi to somewhere as relaxed and enjoyable as where I’m at now was a wonderful bit a culture shock.  I was prepared to be immersed in the corporate world all over again, but it never really happened.  I work at a high rise in Dallas, and I feel fancy when I go into work every day, but it’s a job that I finally feel a sense of accomplishment for doing.  Like what I come into the office for each morning makes a difference somehow, and that I’m not just answering a phone call from someone making well over six figures asking me how to open their email and print a file anymore.

November was my one year anniversary with Keith.  It’s hard to look back on the past year and realize that Keith has been there the whole time.  I never thought I’d have someone like that, someone so wonderful in my life, there by my side through it all.  He’s been there for me, and I’ve been there for him.  Things are going so great.  It’s frustrating to me that many of my family members have no desire to meet this person so special to me.  That because I’m not in the kind of relationship they want (with a woman), my relationship can’t possibly be real or loving or as fulfilling as theirs.  Those that have taken the time to meet him have all told me how obvious it is that we’re wonderful together.  In over a year of being together, I’ve never introduced him to a single person who has later said anything negative about him or us as a couple.  I even had the chance to meet some of his coworkers and his manager for his department’s Christmas party this year, and he told me later that they all enjoyed meeting me as well.  I wish that people would open their eyes and hearts and realize that even though things aren’t always what you want or think should be, they can still be really great.  I love Keith with all my heart, something I make sure to tell him every single day.  How many other people can say the same thing?

This last month has been a trying one.  I almost failed my first Master’s level course in college, but I barely pulled it out at the end of the semester by studying hard for the final and sliding by with a C.  That’s not something I’m terribly proud of, but at least I passed.  I made an effort to understand a course with material that was in no way familiar or easy to me, and I made it.  I got very sick the day after Christmas – sicker than I think I’ve ever been before – and could barely walk around the apartment that morning.  And then Keith came over.  He took care of me.  He got me to eat food, even though I couldn’t keep anything down.  He went out and bought me Sprite to calm my stomach, and nausea medicine to help even more.  He stayed by my side all day, even when the medicine knocked me out on the couch.  I’ve taken care of him when he’s been sick, but I hadn’t been sick enough for him to have to do the same for me.  That day opened my eyes as to yet another reason he’s so wonderful.  When the situation calls for it, I know I can lean on him for support.  I can’t even articulate how comforting that is.

The day after I was so sick, I woke up feeling not great, but much better than before.  As the day rolled on I improved, and Keith and I even made a trip to Arlington to visit my dad.  On the way home we were in an accident.  Neither of us were hurt, but as I got my insurance card out of the glove compartment I looked in the rearview mirror to see the woman drive off.  I didn’t have time to get a license plate number.  I didn’t even have a chance to get out and look at the damage to my car.  An eye witness a few moments later came up to us and told us that she’d seen the woman driving the other vehicle actually get out of her car, check the damage to her own vehicle, and then get back in and drive off.  Unfortunately the witness hadn’t seen the license plate either, but I still appreciate her coming over and giving me her info in case it helped.  All-in-all over $1500 worth of damage was done to my car, and with the bumper tied to my car with rope so it wouldn’t fall off and cause another accident, I took in today to a body shop and left it there for repairs.  My insurance covers all but my deductible, and even got me a rental car, so the situation isn’t as bad as it could be.  It just frustrates and hurts me that someone out there is so callous and selfish that she caused an accident, then made sure her own car was safe to drive and then fled.

But even with the ups and the downs, the goods and the bad, the best of times and worst of times, I feel that 2009 wasn’t a waste.  It wasn’t the worst year ever.  It was just a year.  One which I’m happy to see over in many ways, but will still look back on and smile for the good times it holds.  2010 is going to be here shortly, and I go into it with my head held high hoping to make good things happen for myself and for those around me.  It’s not just the beginning of a new year, but of a new decade.  Bring it on life.

I was sitting outside my class about an hour ago, having arrived about 15 minutes before class started, and the door was locked.  There’s usually a class that meets in the same room right before my class meets, so it’s usually unlocked when we arrive; sometimes they’re still in there and we wait outside, but if they’ve already gone for the night we just let ourselves in and wait for the professor.  When I found the door to be locked tonight, I set my stuff down and just waited for the professor to show up.  Over the next 15 minutes, more and more people from my class showed up, and almost all of them came right up next to me by the door and tried to open it.  Then they looked baffled that it was locked.

Umm…why would I be standing outside the classroom if it was unlocked and ready for our class to come inside?  Do you think I enjoy leaning against brick walls?  Do you think the noisy hallway filled with obnoxious students walking around on their cell phones talking about how hard the homework was last week and where they’re going to go to drink and unwind?  No, I don’t.  I could understand if maybe you’re the first one to show up after me and maybe there is some crazy chance you don’t recognize me as the guy in the back of class who constantly asks questions because he doesn’t understand the material in the slightest.  But when 30 other students from the same class you’ve been in all semester are also standing outside, don’t presume to walk up and think you’ll be able to open the door and save us from our inability to turn a handle and apply some form of push/pull effort.

I know I get frustrated easily, but come on people!  If the door was unlocked and the classroom empty – I’d be inside!  Same principle applies at work more often that I’d like to admit.  I’ll walk up to the elevators and push the bottom to summon the magical transport device, and 5 seconds later someone else will walk up and push the same (now glowing) button again.  Did I not do it right?  Do you think the elevator is going to come any faster?  If that was the case, I would’ve pushed the button 24 times upon arrival and your ass would still be waiting in the lobby since I would already be on my ascent to my floor.  Wake up people.  Pay attention.  Stop being so ridiculously oblivious to your surroundings.  Or I’ll start kicking you in the shin.

While I didn’t hate my last job, there were a lot of things that I didn’t like about it.  I can happily say that almost all of those things are not problems here at my new job.  For instance, at my last job the employees only got to sit down with our manager once every few months to try and touch base with our status and goals and to ask questions, but here I have a firmly scheduled 1:1 meeting every other week that allows me the opportunity to discuss anything I’d like with my manager.  If I have any concerns I can always feel comfortable approaching him outside of that 1:1 environment, but luckily I haven’t really had to yet.  It’s so nice knowing my manager is accessible when I need him, but not a micro-manager who checks on me throughout the day to make sure I’m okay and doing what I’m supposed to be doing.

It’s just a much more relaxed environment.  I don’t have to clock in and out every day, and I don’t have to have a strict 1 hour lunch.  I can come in a little late and just leave late to make up for it.  I can take a short lunch and leave early, or take a long lunch and stay late to compensate.  It’s all very fluid, and I find myself working even harder for this company than for the last because I’m so much more comfortable and at ease here.  I can listen to my iPod while I work, and that always helps the day go by pretty quick.  I can get on IM and talk to my coworkers as needed, but can also talk to friends as long as it doesn’t distract me from work.  This helps me keep in touch with Keith while we’re both at work, and I love being able to do that.

Since I’ve been here we’ve had multiple department lunches that the company picked up the tab for, we had a team-building activity that the whole IT department participated in, and we’ve had various other fun activities in the office that keep things from becoming stagnant.  I’m still a contractor right now, but I’m on the road to becoming a full-time employee, and it can’t happen soon enough.  I can’t wait to be brought into the fold and feel like a permanent fixture around here instead of just a temp.  Here’s hoping!

It’s hard sometimes for me to actually look at myself in the mirror and admit that time has passed, and that I’m an adult now.  I still see the me of high school and college sometimes, and I wonder what exactly has changed since then.  Obviously certain things have changed as time progressed, but I’m still essentially the same person I was a few years ago.

It’s hard to equate that child I see in the mirror with the person I am today.  The one who lives on his own and works a 40 hour week to pay his bills and survive from month to month.  The one who is in a loving relationship, when years ago I thought that I’d never find love.  Young though he is, the boy in the mirror feels like life is just going to go on as it has been going, being alone and desperate for someone to love and be loved by.

Time goes by both infinitely slowly and unerringly quickly.  A month can seem like a year, and a year can seem like a month.  Perception depends upon your experiences.  The face in the mirror tells me that I’ve experienced both.  I’ve seen time slow to an agonizing crawl, seemingly beating me over the head with life every single day.  I’ve also seen time fly by, with love and joy seemingly having just been introduced into my life, when in actuality they have been present for quite some time now.

The next time I see that face in the mirror, I’ll smile at him and I know he’ll smile back.  Because if I’m looking at him and remembering where I come from, then maybe he can look at me and see where he’s going.  And as crazy as things may seem sometimes, he needs to know that it’s all going to be just fine.

1. When you get on an elevator and I’m the only other person already on, there is absolutely no reason why there should be any physical contact between us.  I have never been on an elevator so small that two people can’t ride comfortably without being close to each other.  Step back.  Chances are, you smell and I don’t want you rubbing up against me.
2. If you walk up to the elevator and I’m standing there waiting, and the button is glowing, you can safely assume that I did not just choose that spot randomly to hang out at.  I pushed the button and am waiting for an elevator to arrive.  There is no need for you to walk over, make eye contact with me, and push the button 7 times – it won’t make the elevator come any faster.  It will however make me step on your foot when I get off the elevator at my floor.
3. Do not listen to your voicemails on speaker-phone.  We don’t care if your spouse left you a romantic message telling you to be confident and try your hardest.  We don’t care if your stalker left a message simply of their heavy breathing.  And we don’t care if you left yourself a message reminding you not to forget your gym shorts in the bottom drawer again.  Stop being lazy and pick up the damn receiver and listen to the messages instead of inflicting them on the whole office.  Otherwise, I’m going to call you after hours and leave a message stating that we’re foreclosing your home because your last mortgage payment bounced and our research shows it was due to your excessive amount of money spent on hookers, and then I’ll laugh hysterically when you listen to that on speaker-phone the following day.
4. I don’t care how much you love your ringtone or text message alert sound, nobody else in the office does.  If we hear it once, we assume you forgot to put it on silent and we let it go by without much thought.  18 times later, I’m going to beat you over the head with a 3 hole punch.  I don’t want to hear the same sound over and over again all day long just so you can feel important that someone is text messaging you.  You’re not.  The autopsy will confirm that.
5. If a meeting starts at 2 and ends at 3, an appropriate time to show up is not 2:52.  The meeting is over.  At this point, we’re all wondering where you were, and figuring out a way to punish you for not showing up.  Your half-hearted claim that you were busy and couldn’t get away from your desk is bull.  I saw you surfing Facebook earlier and updating your twitter all morning.  We will now shun you.  That big luncheon that was scheduled for next week which we told you was cancelled?  It wasn’t.  We’re gonna have a blast.  Then call you 8 minutes before it’s over and ask why you couldn’t make it.  Tweet about that.
6. You’re busy.  I’m busy.  We’re all busy.  When do you ever see me sitting around telling anyone who passes by how much I wish I had more work to do?  Oh yeah, it was never.  Stop trying to get me to do your job and mine as well simply because you’re feeling overwhelmed.  Once or twice, fine, I’m a reasonable guy.  Every day?  I’ll bite you, I swear I will.
7. Parking garages (and even parking lots) often have spaces designated as being for “compact cars”.  So why is it they’re always filled with Hummers and Ford F350s?  And I say filled because I mean filled.  They take up the whole spot, plus some overflow on each side, making it impossible for anyone else to park in the directly surrounding spots for fear of not being able to open their doors.  So instead of 3 cars getting spots, your one humongously oversized truck/SUV/tank gets it.  I would spread a rumor that you have tiny genitalia, but it’s no fun to spread a rumor that’s very likely true.  I’ll just consistently let the air out of your tires, and practice my voodoo.  Just wait.  I’ll getcha.
8. If you see me approaching the elevator and start pushing the button to close the doors because you want it to yourself, I will purposely run and throw my body onto the elevator and stare at you the whole ride up.  And if I get off before you, I’ll push the buttons for every other floor and then stare at you with a smile as the doors close behind me.  Stop being an ass.
9. If you need to have more than 30 second conversation with someone, schedule time in a small conference room to discuss your issues.  I don’t want you standing right behind me talking to someone about how the deadline for the such and such is tomorrow and you haven’t finished the thingamajig and you’re gonna jump off the roof if you don’t get it done in time since you’ll almost certainly be fired for being incompetent.  If I have to listen to you talking about that for more than 30 seconds, I’ll show you the way to the roof and advise you not to land in any bushes or soft objects below.
10. Please don’t bring Chinese food into work for lunch, and then eat it at your desk.  Just about every corporate building has a cafeteria – a place specifically designed to smell like food and facilitate its being eaten.  You wanna eat a sandwich at your desk?  Fine.  Go for it.  You wanna eat something that’s going to smell up the whole office?  Be aware that I’m going to lean over your cube and spray you in the face with air freshener to try and balance it out.  You have been given fair warning.
11. If you’re going to bring up every fundraiser your child’s school has and expect your coworkers to buy all that useless crap that we don’t really want, then you had better be willing to do the same when we start peddling our kids’ crap.  Too many times have I seen people sell popcorn, girl scout cookies, wrapping paper, and all other kinds of ridiculously random stuff to coworkers, then turn around and say that they don’t have any money to return the favor, all the while planning their next family trip to who-knows-where.  If you don’t buy the stuff I’m peddling, I will sneak sugar into your carry-on baggage and warn the airport that you’re smuggling cocaine.  Enjoy your cavity search.
12. Newsflash: sound travels.  If you’re listening to a radio at your desk, everyone you can hear it.  There does not exist a comfortable volume that you can both hear the music over the sound of your keyboard and mouse clicks, but still keep your neighbors from having to listen to it.  What’s worse is that the people who listen to music loudly at their desk rarely have commonly shared taste – they’re usually huge fans of heavy metal, deep south country, or polka.  Stop it, or I’ll be forced to modify the system files on your computer, and from now on when your computer starts up you’ll be greeted by farm animal noises, thus perpetuating the rumor I also started about your torrid love affairs with sheep.  Write a country song about that.
13. If you are cold, do not complain to building management and request the temperature be raised.  How about you stop wearing short sleeve shirts to work if you’re feeling chilly?  Some people are required to wear dress shirts and slacks, and those don’t really breathe very well, so said people get quite warm.  They don’t need you requesting the temperature be set to 82 so you can feel nice and toasty at your desk.  Wear a sweater.  Wear a jacket.  Get up off your ass and move around to stimulate blood flow.  When you’re cold, you can do something about it.  When everyone else gets hot, it’s not really work appropriate to strip down to cool off.  If you don’t follow this rule, I’ll be forced to sneak hot sauce into all the food you brought for lunch.  You won’t be feeling very cold after eating that.
14. Don’t print out a 300 page report all at once in the middle of the day.  Other people need to use that printer too, likely for one or two pages, and they shouldn’t have to sit around all day waiting for your document to finish.  Split it up into a few smaller sized pieces.  You’ll still get your report printed, but other people will be able to intermittently print their documents too.  Everyone wins.  If you don’t comply, I’ll steal pages 109-147 out of your report.  Hope there wasn’t anything important in there.
15. During a fire drill/alarm, do not push everyone out of your way to make it to the stairs faster.  We would all like to escape, thank you.  Pushing me over will not facilitate your safe escape without any repercussions.  Chances are, I’ll get back on my feet and make it downstairs just fine.  However, when it’s safe to return inside I’ll rush straight to your desk and start taking things.  And shredding things.  And then I’ll limp past you later feigning innocence as you cry over your missing Snoopy pen.
16. If you have to have a badge of some sort to activate the elevator or the parking garage or the door to your area of the office, please have it out and ready when you get to said spot.  I am tired of being behind you while you dig in your car to find your badge, or upend your purse in the elevator looking for it, or dig through your pockets all the while laughing awkwardly and pretending you haven’t done the same thing everyday of your employment here.  I’m tired of it, and so is everyone else.  If we can have the necessary identification ready and available when necessary, so can you.  Get with it, or next time I see you I’m going to rush over and tape it to your forehead.
17. We live in the 21st century, not the Dark Ages.  When it comes to trivial little questions or ramblings, an instant message or an email will more than suffice.  You can even throw in an “lol” or an emoticon and then go along with your day, never having gotten up from your desk.  But no, that’s no good.  You have to get up and walk across the office to talk to your friend, then walk back to your desk, then walk to someone else’s desk 3 minutes later with a follow-up question, then back to your desk, and so on and so forth all day long.  I tire of seeing your face walk past my desk.  Technology is a great asset.  I’m not asking you to plug your brain into your computer and disconnect all social interaction, just to be aware of the fact that your constant pacing back and forth across the office is distracting to those of us actually working, and your conversations are also a nuisance, one which could be accomplished even quicker and with absolute silence via the computer.  Take advantage of the technology, or I will build a sentient robot to shoot laser beams at you every time you pass my desk.

As you can see, I’m moderately bitter.  Working in corporate America is tough, but if everyone followed the rules we’d all be just fine.  Spread the word.  Or else…

And I did just that.  I met my manager and my coworkers (one of which I knew from Citigroup and had been looking forward to seeing every since I found out about the job), sat through multiple meetings and training sessions, and then was thrown onto my computer to get to work.  I have email, a phone, and a tiny little half-cubicle that nobody else wanted but that I’m perfectly happy to stay in until something bigger is available.  :-)

It’s gonna be a great job.  I can already tell that even though things may seem a little tedious, that I’m going to enjoy myself at this company.  I’ll do my best at everything I do and try to keep my head up and look on the bright side of every situation.  I was unemployed for 8 months – I’m just happy to get my foot back in the door somewhere.

I stopped at Walmart on my way home today and picked up a few little things I’d like for my desk that I can’t really request from the supply room at work.  Organizers and such.  I’m gonna make myself comfortable.  I intend to be there for quite a while.

Today would’ve been my little sister’s 12th birthday.

People who know me generally only know of my two brothers.  Both are half-brothers by a different parent, but I’ve never really given that any thought.  Both are my brothers and are known to everyone around me as such; there’s no point in focusing on the fact that they don’t share both parents with me since that doesn’t mean I love either of them any less.  What I don’t talk about very often is that I also had a sister.  Had/have.  I never really know how to say that.  How to talk about her.  Faith was born 12 years ago today, but was too premature and unfortunately couldn’t make it on her own.  She survived for 7 days and then they had to let her go because she wasn’t going to get any better.  I hope this doesn’t sound callous, but please understand that I was 11 years old when all this happened.  The specifics are still very vague to me because it isn’t something I’ve ever wanted to ask my dad or step-mom to explain to me.  It would kill me to ask them to relive it anymore than absolutely necessary, so I’d rather just remember what I can.

I was in middle school when Connie was pregnant with Faith.  She used to watch me and my middle brother (the younger hadn’t been born yet) after school at my mom’s house.  I remember her being pregnant.  And I vaguely remember when things started going wrong.  As an 11 year old I didn’t have much comprehension of what was going on, just what I could see and understand.  When Faith was born she was very early, and very small.  Everybody knew it was going to be a critical situation, so grandparents came into town to see her and be with my dad and Connie while they tried to keep it together.  I do remember that much.  I’d never seen my dad walk around with such a blank stare on his face.  There was no laughter in his eyes like there usually was.  Every spare minute he had was spent at the hospital with Faith.  Same with my step-mom.

I remember being allowed to see her for the first time.  She was in a very sterile part of the hospital, so I went in I had to scrub up to make sure I wasn’t carrying in any germs that might hurt her.  She was so tiny.  So small.  Even at 11 I knew it wasn’t right and even then it made me sad to see her like that.  She was my little sister and without saying it out loud, everyone knew that it wasn’t looking good.  I wish it had turned out different, but that’s not what happened.  I remember the hospital calling my dad when she took a turn for the worse, and he raced to the hospital to hold her in his arms for the last time.  I was too young to really understand what it meant that they were taking her off life support, but they knew then and I know now.

Her funeral was the first funeral I can ever remember attending.  I got to see her in the funeral home before we went to the cemetery and buried her.  Someone sang.  Someone spoke.  I don’t remember any of it.  I just remember my family members being there and everyone crying.  Everyone but me.  I didn’t really know what to feel.  Not then.  I was sad, but I didn’t know how sad it really was, or how sad I’d be later when I thought about her.  Dad and Connie were in a daze for a long time after that.  When she got pregnant with my younger brother a year later I still remember everybody being scared it would happen again.  When he came early, I remember being so scared that I wouldn’t get to have a baby brother.  But he was healthy and has grown big and strong since then.

I don’t have any pictures of Faith.  I wish I did.  I thought about that when I decided to write about her today.  The only picture I have is a very old one from shortly after she was buried of her headstone.  When people ask me how many siblings I have, my first response is two.  I always answer two.  Partially because I don’t feel the need to explain any further than that, but to be honest – sometimes I don’t even think about it.  I never had Faith in my life.  I never got to be her big brother.  I never got to hold her like my parents did.  I never got to play tea party with her.  I didn’t get to do any of the things a big brother should do.  I wish I had.

I’m about to go see my dad and step-mom and my little brother, and we’re going to go out to the cemetery to visit Faith.  It’s been years since I’ve been.  I don’t know why.  Happy birthday Faith.  I love you.

The headstone of Faith's grave

My friend Jayme was the first person I knew personally to own a Prius.  She dreamed of it for eons (or a couple years, one of the two) and finally managed to purloin one.  According to my recollection, her cousin Sarah then decided that a Prius is way cooler than a “Slug Bug” and that no longer would anyone get hit when a Bug drove past – now the only people getting hit would be the ones who didn’t spot a nearby Prius fast enough to claim it for themselves.  The game caught on like wildfire (between the three of us) and we laughed away all the bruises.

As of late, the game has begun to spread.  Jayme’s mom now plays, a fact I learned while riding in the car with her last month when she surprised me by severely beating me on 5 different occasions in the course of one afternoon of errands, all with a huge smile on her face that she was part of the cool crowd playing Prius.  Even after my embarrassing defeat at the fist of Judy, I foolishly taught the game to both my youngest brother and Keith.  Since teaching them this game, I have suffered many a beating at their delight.  Sure, every once in a while I manage to smack them, but being the driver puts me in the unfortunate role of having to watch the road, not the surrounding cars.  I remember Keith thinking the game was stupid at first, but now he seems to excel at it.  Damn.

In spite of all this, there seems to be a few questions as to how the game is played and what all it entails.  I’d like to take this chance to teach the public (meaning the 8 people who read this blog) how to play Prius and be cool.

1. The first rule of Prius, is to tell everyone about Prius.  You can’t play a game nobody is aware of, so spread the word far and wide.  If you don’t, I’m pretty sure that makes you a communist.
2. No longer does seeing a Volkswagen Beetle/Bug entitle you to punch someone in the arm.  Doing so authorizes the driver to push the eject button and launch your ass out of the car.  If their car doesn’t come equipped with an eject button (but whose doesn’t nowadays?), then be prepared to have the passenger door opened, your seatbelt unbuckled, and your body ingloriously pushed from the moving vehicle.  We’re not kidding about this one – Slug Bug is dead people, it’s now the age of the Prius.
3. When a Prius is spotted in the wild, simply hitting someone doesn’t count, and will likely get you a great big shiner.  To truly claim the beautiful hybrid, you must shout “PRIUS!” and point it out.  This will protect you from unjustified return beatings as promised by the bylaws of Prius.
4. If you own a Toyota Prius, you can’t smack anyone nearby everytime you see your own vehicle, nor can they hit you or anyone else.  Owned Priuses (or as Jayme refers to them, Prii) do not count towards the game, as that is not very sportsman-like.  You may only hit someone if you spot a Prius that is not owned by you or your traveling companions.
5. A Prius on TV doesn’t count.  If you don’t see it in person, you can’t begin beating anyone in your direct proximity.
6. Toyota Dealerships do indeed count, so if you happen to drive past one with anyone near you, be sure to sneakily spot the section of Priuses/Prii and commence beating the crap out of anyone within reach.
7. There used to be an archaic rule that when playing Slug Bug you had to say “no slug backs” or the slugee was allowed to hit you back.  That’s stupid, and in keeping with the caliber of people who still play Slug Bug.  Prius is above that.  Once you spot one and hit someone, that Prius has been claimed and no further hits are allowed.  Deal with it cry babies.
8. When in the role of “passenger” of a car, please be cautious as to with how much force you wail on the driver.  If you don’t want the driver to lose consciousness and careen the car off the side of a cliff (assuming you often drive near cliffs), simply smack them gently and yell “PRIUS!” to validate the smack.  Drivers however are allowed to beat passengers as thoroughly as they desire.  Again – deal with it cry babies.
9. You cannot store up Prius sightings and then let loose on a clueless victim (stranger or otherwise) later on.  Any Priuses/Prii spotted while alone are immediately invalidated.  Sucks to be you – make some friends and ride around with them.
10. Other hybrids don’t count, so don’t even try it.  Hybrid Camrys, beautiful though they are, are not Priuses/Prii, thus they are not covered by the Prius game.  Neither is any other hybrid vehicle, so if you hit someone and try to shout “Hybrid Highlander!”, be prepared to be hit back since you won’t be covered by the protection of the Prius rules.  (As a side note, yes, all my hybrid references are made by Toyota.  That’s because any other hybrid sucks.  Toyota makes the Prius, thus they are the best.)

These are the rules as of the time of this posting.  Feel free to post your own rules in the comments.  If I feel they’re worthy of being added to the rulebook, I’ll amend the list and provide credit.  By the power invested in me by the Toyota Corporation (not really, but let’s pretend for the sake of Priuses/Prii everywhere), I declare the Prius game officially begun.

I measured out two cups of Special K cereal and one cup of fat free milk, and had myself a nice little breakfast.  I can’t remember the last time I actually got up in time to call it breakfast instead of lunch, but today won’t be the last time.  I normally have orange juice with cereal, but today I decided that even a small glass wasn’t acceptable.  I won’t be so strict as the days and weeks go on, but if I don’t have determination at the beginning, I’ll give up on the whole thing by the end of the week.  A couple hours after breakfast I was already hungry (understandably so, as two cups of cereal doesn’t really fill you up), so I had myself a fresh banana.  Another first – I don’t know when I last just grabbed a piece of fruit and ate it.  It curbed my appetite for a little while, but again, not for too long.

I made myself a can our Campbell’s chunky soup for lunch and for the first time (notice a theme yet?) I didn’t add crackers.  As anyone who really knows me can attest, I will usually add crackers to a soup until it’s so thick you could eat it with a fork.  It’s just how I like it.  Well, crackers add calories and fat and carbs and all kinds of things, so I decided to pace myself and eat just the soup itself, but slowly enough that it would hopefully fill me up.  A bottle of water accompanied this meal instead of soda or milk or juice, and I didn’t really mind it like I thought I would.

After lunch I headed back to the gym for another 30 minute workout.  I won’t always workout twice a day, but for right now it feels good and I need the exercise badly.  And unlike my midnight workout earlier, I wasn’t exhausted after 30 minutes, but I still decided not to push it today and called it quits.  I burned about 600 calories today between my two workouts, a number that I’m satisfied with for now, though I remember burning around 800 when I used to workout for an hour at a time.  *shrugs*  I’ll get there again.

I had another banana for an afternoon snack, and then started cooking dinner.  For my first big meal on the diet I decided to make a healthy pasta consisting of whole wheat Penne Rigate noodles, organic tomato sauce, and extra lean ground white turkey meat.  When I used to cook this type of meal (though I’ve never used this sauce or type of noodle before), I always cook the whole meal at once and divided it three portions so it would last for multiple meals.  I did the same tonight, ending up with three equal portions, two of which went into tupperware and the fridge, one of which ended up on my plate.  Another difference I tried this time to save calories and so forth was to only use half the jar of sauce instead of the whole thing, and I couldn’t tell a bit of difference in the taste.  I treated myself to a glass of milk with the meal, and took a picture to share [seen below].

It’s not even 7 o’clock yet and I’ve already had dinner.  How unusual for me, but I am okay with it.  I’m committed to earlier dinners and no more midnight or 1 a.m. snacks.  These habits have to stop now if I’m going to make any progress.  All in all I ended the day at about 1766 calories (give or take a few), just under the goal of 1780-2130 calories per day that was put before me by a website I’ve used in the past to track food and exercise habits.  Take into account the 600 calories I burned, and you can figure that I only took in about 1100 calories or so today, minus the amount of calories you burn just by walking and being alive.  I don’t know where that puts me exactly at the end of the day, but I do know I feel good about it.  I’ve also included below a couple pie charts that show very well how my calories today can be broken down.  First by each individual food item, then by meal, and then by carbs/fat/protein content.  The website suggests I lower my carb and protein intake a little bit, and raise my fat intake, but I think I’m okay for now.

I believe I’m off to a good start.  :-)

I went shopping a few hours ago and spent more money than normal on groceries.  That’s because this time I didn’t buy ramen noodles and spaghettios and that sort of junk (that tastes oh-so-delicious).  This time I bought whole wheat pasta and turkey meat and bottled water instead of diet soda.  These choices are expensive, but ultimately worth it.  This was another one of my excuses for gaining weight – I’m unemployed and healthy food is more expensive than unhealthy food.  This is a true fact for the most part, but one that shouldn’t have been used as a crutch to let me gain so much weight.  I have stretch marks on my stomach people – it’s time for it all to stop.

The other huge change I made was that I decided to start going back to the gym.  The gym that I pay about $25 a month to not visit.  In fact, I looked in iCal and saw that the last time I worked out at the gym was September 2nd, 2008.  That’s pathetic.  For the past 9 months I’ve paid to not go to the gym because I kept telling myself that if I cancelled my membership, when I finally did decide to go back it would’ve cost more to rejoin.  I don’t think they charge $225 to join.  Money down the drain, but not anymore.  I’m starting back effective 1 hour ago.

I got off my ass and went to the gym at five minutes past midnight.  The place was practically empty as I prefer it to be, and I hiked upstairs and climbed up onto the elliptical trainer machine and began my workout.  I set a goal of 60 minutes and started pedaling/running my way to weight loss.  I had my headphones plugged into my iPod touch and laughed away the pounds watching “Family Guy” for a little while.  Once the first 20 minutes had passed, I realized I wasn’t going to make it an hour.  I know I’m going to make it there eventually because that’s what I used to do back when I was visiting the gym on a consistent basis, but 60 minutes the first time out just wasn’t feasible tonight.

I settled for half an hour and drove home physically exhausted.  I took a shower and then started writing this.  I’m nurturing my second bottle of water in the past 2 hours and I’m hoping to continue drinking it all tomorrow/later today and the days to follow.  I’ve made excuses for myself for too long.  It’s time for some changes.