Archive for the “Reflection” Category

Trust is a funny thing.  It’s so hard to build up and so easy to destroy.  My parents used to tell me this all the time and I never fully understood.  I’d do something stupid and lie about it, and they’d express their disappointment at how I couldn’t be trusted.  Then for weeks or even months I’d be good and tell the truth and they wouldn’t listen.  Over time, trust can be earned back, but it can just as easily be swept away again.  The more it happens, the more difficult it is to rebuild, until you finally just pack up and decide to place your trust elsewhere.  I never really understood my parents and how they could seem so hurt over something as trivial as a lie.  That was then.  This is now.  And one very large deception has called so much into question in my life.

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This weekend my family all came into town to celebrate my grandfather’s 80th birthday.  Thing is, he had no idea that he was getting a party on quite that scale when he agreed to come.  I’m assuming he only thought it’d be a small gathering of family, completely unaware that his extended family and friends would be flying in from all over the country to be there for him on this big milestone.  But I probably enjoyed it almost as much as he did.  For me it wasn’t just a celebration of his birthday, it was a family reunion where I got to see cousins I haven’t seen in years.  It was awkward at first, but it all mellowed out and turned into a great weekend.

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There’s never been a point in my life where I felt compelled to enlist in any of the branches of the armed services.  I’ve never been compelled to be part of something greater than myself in that particular manner.  Never wanted the kind of camaraderie that comes with it.  No interest in it whatsoever.  But I have an unlimited amount of respect and admiration for those who do.

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It’s hard to believe that “9/11″ was seven years ago.  It seems to have been both recent and yet incredibly long ago at the same time.  Looking back on such a horrible tragedy it’s hard to remain positive, but as a country we’ve done our best to step forward with new insight and band together to achieve common goals…for the most part.

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Over the years I’ve had to part company with a few friends and many casual acquaintances.  Everyone has.  It’s an unavoidable part of life – you can’t stay in touch with everyone even if you want to.  Granted, some of the people I’ve lost touch with were because I made the decision to sever the ties and move on, but sometimes it was simply because we lost touch over time.  I’m now faced with the harsh reality that I’m soon going to have to say goodbye to a friend that I’m closer to than anyone else.  Not because either of us want to, but because he’s leaving the continent to start his family and take his life in a new direction.  It’s less than a year away, but I’m trying not to think about it just yet; because when I do, I feel like I’m losing one of the best people in my life right now.

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