I’ve been thinking about my relationship with my dad a lot recently. Not really sure why, but it’s been on my mind more than usual. My parents were divorced when I was very young, so I lived with my mom and visited my dad whenever possible. I didn’t get to see him as much as I would’ve liked as a kid, and I remember not being happy about that when I was younger, but I also remember all the good memories we had together. He wasn’t always around, but only because the situation didn’t really work out like that. But he’s always been a good dad, and was always there for me. And to this day, he still is.
Archive for the “Reflection” CategoryI know it’s been a long time since my last update, so let me first apologize for my absence and promise to try harder to be more present on my blog. I’ve had tons of things happen over the past few months that should’ve been written about, but I just couldn’t bring myself to sit down and hash it out. But a few weeks ago, while I was browsing the news feed on Facebook, I saw someone that I went to middle school with had posted a link to an obituary. When I clicked the link and read the obituary, I realized it was someone I had gone to school with all those years ago, and I just read the article in shock. Another year passes by, and another approaches just around the riverbend…I mean the corner. I’ve had some serious ups and downs this year, but looking around I know that lots of other people have too. I can’t pretend that my life was awful and that “2009 was the worst year ever” like I’ve heard so many times in the past few days. With social networking being what it is, Facebook and Twitter have been teeming with all the same-old-same-old colloquialisms about how this year was just awful and that hopefully next year will be better. But these are the same people who said the exact same thing last year, and will say the same next year. I had a mix of good and bad, but I won’t forget either to favor the other. Sometimes when I walk past a mirror, I actually do a double-take at the face staring back at me. I see my face, and I stare as if looking at a stranger. When I lock eyes with myself, I still see a little boy. I see the teenager who had no idea where his life was going, or how he was going to make it on his own. And the boy in the mirror looks back at me and seems to ask if I’m doing it right, living up to the ideal of what he thought it would be like. It’s Christmas again, and for once I actually feel like I’m in the spirit of things. In the past I’ve barely tolerated the season, becoming a “Scrooge” of sorts, refusing to listen to Christmas music and never understanding the lengths people go to in order to decorate their homes. While I didn’t go out caroling this year, nor did I put up any Christmas decorations, I did feel more cheery than normal. A lot of things in my life have been moving in a positive direction lately, and it’s affecting my outlook on life I think. I seem to be more optimistic, and I smile a lot more. And for those moments when I felt angry and bitter at the world (usually these moments took place while at work), I actually realized it and tried to bring myself back to where I should be. For once in my life, I actually appreciated Christmas for what it really means and enjoyed it. |
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