I was sitting outside my class about an hour ago, having arrived about 15 minutes before class started, and the door was locked.  There’s usually a class that meets in the same room right before my class meets, so it’s usually unlocked when we arrive; sometimes they’re still in there and we wait outside, but if they’ve already gone for the night we just let ourselves in and wait for the professor.  When I found the door to be locked tonight, I set my stuff down and just waited for the professor to show up.  Over the next 15 minutes, more and more people from my class showed up, and almost all of them came right up next to me by the door and tried to open it.  Then they looked baffled that it was locked.

Umm…why would I be standing outside the classroom if it was unlocked and ready for our class to come inside?  Do you think I enjoy leaning against brick walls?  Do you think I like the noisy hallway filled with obnoxious students walking around on their cell phones talking about how hard the homework was last week and where they’re going to go to drink and unwind?  No, I don’t.  I could understand if maybe you’re the first one to show up after me and maybe there is some crazy chance you don’t recognize me as the guy in the back of class who constantly asks questions because he doesn’t understand the material in the slightest.  But when 30 other students from the same class you’ve been in all semester are also standing outside, don’t presume to walk up and think you’ll be able to open the door and save us from our inability to turn a handle and apply some form of push/pull effort.

I know I get frustrated easily, but come on people!  If the door was unlocked and the classroom empty – I’d be inside!  Same principle applies at work more often that I’d like to admit.  I’ll walk up to the elevators and push the bottom to summon the magical transport device, and 5 seconds later someone else will walk up and push the same (already glowing) button again.  Did I not do it right?  Do you think the elevator is going to come any faster?  If that was the case, I would’ve pushed the button 24 times upon arrival and your ass would still be waiting in the lobby since I would already be on my ascent to my floor.  Wake up people.  Pay attention.  Stop being so ridiculously oblivious to your surroundings.  Or I’ll start kicking you in the shin.

1. When you get on an elevator and I’m the only other person already on, there is absolutely no reason why there should be any physical contact between us.  I have never been on an elevator so small that two people can’t ride comfortably without being close to each other.  Step back.  Chances are, you smell and I don’t want you rubbing up against me.
2. If you walk up to the elevator and I’m standing there waiting, and the button is glowing, you can safely assume that I did not just choose that spot randomly to hang out at.  I pushed the button and am waiting for an elevator to arrive.  There is no need for you to walk over, make eye contact with me, and push the button 7 times – it won’t make the elevator come any faster.  It will however make me step on your foot when I get off the elevator at my floor.
3. Do not listen to your voicemails on speaker-phone.  We don’t care if your spouse left you a romantic message telling you to be confident and try your hardest.  We don’t care if your stalker left a message simply of their heavy breathing.  And we don’t care if you left yourself a message reminding you not to forget your gym shorts in the bottom drawer again.  Stop being lazy and pick up the damn receiver and listen to the messages instead of inflicting them on the whole office.  Otherwise, I’m going to call you after hours and leave a message stating that we’re foreclosing your home because your last mortgage payment bounced and our research shows it was due to your excessive amount of money spent on hookers, and then I’ll laugh hysterically when you listen to that on speaker-phone the following day.
4. I don’t care how much you love your ringtone or text message alert sound, nobody else in the office does.  If we hear it once, we assume you forgot to put it on silent and we let it go by without much thought.  18 times later, I’m going to beat you over the head with a 3 hole punch.  I don’t want to hear the same sound over and over again all day long just so you can feel important that someone is text messaging you.  You’re not.  The autopsy will confirm that.
5. If a meeting starts at 2 and ends at 3, an appropriate time to show up is not 2:52.  The meeting is over.  At this point, we’re all wondering where you were, and figuring out a way to punish you for not showing up.  Your half-hearted claim that you were busy and couldn’t get away from your desk is bull.  I saw you surfing Facebook earlier and updating your twitter all morning.  We will now shun you.  That big luncheon that was scheduled for next week which we told you was cancelled?  It wasn’t.  We’re gonna have a blast.  Then call you 8 minutes before it’s over and ask why you couldn’t make it.  Tweet about that.
6. You’re busy.  I’m busy.  We’re all busy.  When do you ever see me sitting around telling anyone who passes by how much I wish I had more work to do?  Oh yeah, it was never.  Stop trying to get me to do your job and mine as well simply because you’re feeling overwhelmed.  Once or twice, fine, I’m a reasonable guy.  Every day?  I’ll bite you, I swear I will.
7. Parking garages (and even parking lots) often have spaces designated as being for “compact cars”.  So why is it they’re always filled with Hummers and Ford F350s?  And I say filled because I mean filled.  They take up the whole spot, plus some overflow on each side, making it impossible for anyone else to park in the directly surrounding spots for fear of not being able to open their doors.  So instead of 3 cars getting spots, your one humongously oversized truck/SUV/tank gets it.  I would spread a rumor that you have tiny genitalia, but it’s no fun to spread a rumor that’s very likely true.  I’ll just consistently let the air out of your tires, and practice my voodoo.  Just wait.  I’ll getcha.
8. If you see me approaching the elevator and start pushing the button to close the doors because you want it to yourself, I will purposely run and throw my body onto the elevator and stare at you the whole ride up.  And if I get off before you, I’ll push the buttons for every other floor and then stare at you with a smile as the doors close behind me.  Stop being an ass.
9. If you need to have more than 30 second conversation with someone, schedule time in a small conference room to discuss your issues.  I don’t want you standing right behind me talking to someone about how the deadline for the such and such is tomorrow and you haven’t finished the thingamajig and you’re gonna jump off the roof if you don’t get it done in time since you’ll almost certainly be fired for being incompetent.  If I have to listen to you talking about that for more than 30 seconds, I’ll show you the way to the roof and advise you not to land in any bushes or soft objects below.
10. Please don’t bring Chinese food into work for lunch, and then eat it at your desk.  Just about every corporate building has a cafeteria – a place specifically designed to smell like food and facilitate its being eaten.  You wanna eat a sandwich at your desk?  Fine.  Go for it.  You wanna eat something that’s going to smell up the whole office?  Be aware that I’m going to lean over your cube and spray you in the face with air freshener to try and balance it out.  You have been given fair warning.
11. If you’re going to bring up every fundraiser your child’s school has and expect your coworkers to buy all that useless crap that we don’t really want, then you had better be willing to do the same when we start peddling our kids’ crap.  Too many times have I seen people sell popcorn, girl scout cookies, wrapping paper, and all other kinds of ridiculously random stuff to coworkers, then turn around and say that they don’t have any money to return the favor, all the while planning their next family trip to who-knows-where.  If you don’t buy the stuff I’m peddling, I will sneak sugar into your carry-on baggage and warn the airport that you’re smuggling cocaine.  Enjoy your cavity search.
12. Newsflash: sound travels.  If you’re listening to a radio at your desk, everyone you can hear it.  There does not exist a comfortable volume that you can both hear the music over the sound of your keyboard and mouse clicks, but still keep your neighbors from having to listen to it.  What’s worse is that the people who listen to music loudly at their desk rarely have commonly shared taste – they’re usually huge fans of heavy metal, deep south country, or polka.  Stop it, or I’ll be forced to modify the system files on your computer, and from now on when your computer starts up you’ll be greeted by farm animal noises, thus perpetuating the rumor I also started about your torrid love affairs with sheep.  Write a country song about that.
13. If you are cold, do not complain to building management and request the temperature be raised.  How about you stop wearing short sleeve shirts to work if you’re feeling chilly?  Some people are required to wear dress shirts and slacks, and those don’t really breathe very well, so said people get quite warm.  They don’t need you requesting the temperature be set to 82 so you can feel nice and toasty at your desk.  Wear a sweater.  Wear a jacket.  Get up off your ass and move around to stimulate blood flow.  When you’re cold, you can do something about it.  When everyone else gets hot, it’s not really work appropriate to strip down to cool off.  If you don’t follow this rule, I’ll be forced to sneak hot sauce into all the food you brought for lunch.  You won’t be feeling very cold after eating that.
14. Don’t print out a 300 page report all at once in the middle of the day.  Other people need to use that printer too, likely for one or two pages, and they shouldn’t have to sit around all day waiting for your document to finish.  Split it up into a few smaller sized pieces.  You’ll still get your report printed, but other people will be able to intermittently print their documents too.  Everyone wins.  If you don’t comply, I’ll steal pages 109-147 out of your report.  Hope there wasn’t anything important in there.
15. During a fire drill/alarm, do not push everyone out of your way to make it to the stairs faster.  We would all like to escape, thank you.  Pushing me over will not facilitate your safe escape without any repercussions.  Chances are, I’ll get back on my feet and make it downstairs just fine.  However, when it’s safe to return inside I’ll rush straight to your desk and start taking things.  And shredding things.  And then I’ll limp past you later feigning innocence as you cry over your missing Snoopy pen.
16. If you have to have a badge of some sort to activate the elevator or the parking garage or the door to your area of the office, please have it out and ready when you get to said spot.  I am tired of being behind you while you dig in your car to find your badge, or upend your purse in the elevator looking for it, or dig through your pockets all the while laughing awkwardly and pretending you haven’t done the same thing everyday of your employment here.  I’m tired of it, and so is everyone else.  If we can have the necessary identification ready and available when necessary, so can you.  Get with it, or next time I see you I’m going to rush over and tape it to your forehead.
17. We live in the 21st century, not the Dark Ages.  When it comes to trivial little questions or ramblings, an instant message or an email will more than suffice.  You can even throw in an “lol” or an emoticon and then go along with your day, never having gotten up from your desk.  But no, that’s no good.  You have to get up and walk across the office to talk to your friend, then walk back to your desk, then walk to someone else’s desk 3 minutes later with a follow-up question, then back to your desk, and so on and so forth all day long.  I tire of seeing your face walk past my desk.  Technology is a great asset.  I’m not asking you to plug your brain into your computer and disconnect all social interaction, just to be aware of the fact that your constant pacing back and forth across the office is distracting to those of us actually working, and your conversations are also a nuisance, one which could be accomplished even quicker and with absolute silence via the computer.  Take advantage of the technology, or I will build a sentient robot to shoot laser beams at you every time you pass my desk.

As you can see, I’m moderately bitter.  Working in corporate America is tough, but if everyone followed the rules we’d all be just fine.  Spread the word.  Or else…

Here we go…:

1. Please always wash your hands.  Even if you don’t feel that there was any mess warranting it, do it anyways.  For men especially, you touched your junk.  Even if there was no mess when you micturated, there was hand-to-junk contact.  Nobody wants to touch your hand later without it having been washed.  Be sensible.  Be polite.  Be clean.  Wash your hands.
2. You may be buddies outside the bathroom, but inside you had better pretend you’re strangers.  It’s inappropriate and awkward to walk into a bathroom and stand side-by-side with a work colleague or friend at the urinals while talking about anything.  The only acceptable deviation from this rule is at a sporting event of some kind; in those situations it is okay to reference a recent phenomenal play, but don’t drag it out.  Take care of business and get out of the bathroom.  There should be no friendliness and socializing while toilets are nearby.  We’re not women.
3. The courtesy flush is an important part of bathroom etiquette that apparently almost nobody understands.  When you know you’re going to be camped out for a while in the bathroom due to the 4 bowls of chili you had for lunch, please be sure to be concious of the fact that your stall doesn’t smell like roses, and said un-rosey smell isn’t contained to just your stall.  Flush a couple times throughout your stay and make sure nothing lingers long.  A couple flushes goes a long way at relieving the eye-watering stench that prevails in most public restrooms.  Be courteous.  Nobody wants to smell that.
4. Do not wash anything but your hands in the bathroom sink.  This is not the place to make up for the fact that you were running too late this morning to take a shower.  I personally have come across the same guy numerous times washing his feet in the bathroom sink at work.  Standing there on one leg, socks and shoes off, foot in sink, scrubbing with soap and drying with paper towels.  That’s nasty.  I don’t want to get close to you.  I don’t want to smell the feet that apparently need to be washed so badly.  Don’t splash soapy water into your armpits to compensate for the fact that you worked out over lunch.  None of this is acceptable bathroom etiquette.  Sinks are for hand washing only.
5. Always flush.  Yes, you heard me – always flush.  I know the toilets in a public restroom aren’t always the most hygenic places in the world, but part of this comes from the fact that people don’t flush.  I don’t want to walk up to a urinal or toilet to see anything leftover from the person there before me.  That’s weird and gross and unnecessary.  Even if the handle to the toilet isn’t the cleanest thing in the world, it takes all of 10 seconds to walk from the toilet to the sink to scrub it off your hands, and you saved the next person from seeing your business you left behind.
6. Do not talk on your cell phone.  If you are on your phone while on your way to the restroom, fine.  Once you reach the door, say good-bye.  Nobody in the bathroom wants to hear you telling your wife that lasagna sounds good tonight but that Timmy will have to get a ride home from soccer practice with a friend.  And chances are, your wife doesn’t want to hear you pooping.  I don’t even want to hear it, and I’m in the stall next to you.  To further discourage people from talking on their phones (existing conversations, or new ones that started when already in the bathroom), I flush the toilet over and over again until they hang up.  I figure it’s either going to be too loud for them to hear anything, or the person on the other end of the line is going to realize they’re in the bathroom and just call them back later.  Either way, I’m satisfied when they shut up.  (Side note…texting is acceptable)
7. Cleanliness is important, but don’t be crazy about it.  Most bathrooms don’t have many sinks.  The sinks to toilet ratio is quite low actually.  So chances are there will be more people using the restroom than sinks are available.  This is sometimes the excuse people use to not wash their hands, but this could be avoided if people didn’t spend 5 minutes washing their hands.  I want to be clean just as much as the next guy, but I don’t have to soap and rinse, soap and rinse, soap and rinse, over and over and over again.  There’s being clean, and there’s being rude.  When there are only a few sinks and there is a line of people wanting to wash their hands, finish quickly and move.  If you notice the person at the sink next to you switch more than once, you’re taking too long.  Hurry up and get out of the bathroom.  Think of it this way – the longer you remain washing your hands, the longer you’re exposed to any other germs that might be floating around.  Save yourself – escape!

If anyone else has anymore they’d like to throw in, feel free.  I know I haven’t listed near all of them.

I am by no means stating that I believe all the fault lies with the consumer, but I will also not pretend to place blame entirely on the lending companies.  I can’t say whether the fault is 50/50, but I do know that it is split between the two.  I’ve had many discussions with friends and family about this issue, and feel very strongly about it for a number of reasons.

One of the many lessons I remember from my childhood (having had most of them repeated over and over again throughout the years since as a young boy I refused to listen) is that you have to accept blame for your actions.  You can’t stand up and accept the praise for something you did right if you refuse to stand up and own the consequences of something you did wrong.  Unfortunately, that’s exactly what the majority of these homeowners are trying to do right now.  They shouted from the rooftops when they were granted the exhorbitant mortgage loans that they asked for, and now they’re crying from the gutter when they couldn’t pay those mortgages and their homes were foreclosed.

I’m not some horrible tyrant who is happy these people are losing their homes.  By no means do I want to see them homeless and without a safe place to stay.  However, they put themselves in this position of their own free will.  Nobody came up to them and told them to forget about their $30,000 annual income and apply for a $250,000 home loan.  And even if they did, anyone who said “okay” and went straight to the bank to take out that loan is an absolute fool.  It’s simple math.  It’s not a complex calculation that requires a genius or accountant or real estate agent – it requires a pen and paper and a 4th grade education.  My 10 year old brother could easily explain the dynamics of the equation to these people.  Granted, that’s not quite fair since he is a little genius, but the point remains the same.  The below math is generic and estimated, but you’ll get the idea:

$250,000 home loan + Accrued interest = (Average monthly mortgage payment) * (Number of years to be paid out) * (12 months per year)
$250,000 + ? = $900 * (30 Years * 12 Months)
$250,000 + ? = $324,000
$250,000 + $74,000 = $324,000

This is crude math.  The last thing I need to hear is how it’s not exactly right.  I was very generous with the interest to make a point.  If you’ll look at the second line you’ll notice that even with only a $900 monthly payment (barely more than I pay for a one bedroom apartment just outside of Dallas), you’re committing yourself to over $10,000 a year in mortgage payments.  When you only make $30,000 before taxes, that means you’ve decided that over 1/3 of the money you bring home every year goes straight to a mortgage.  How does that make sense?  Or how does it even add up?  It doesn’t.  And this is why people are losing their homes.  They felt so fancy that they were approved for the huge loan they asked for, that they never stopped to think if they could really pay for it all.

What’s even more frustrating is that the individuals being foreclosed who are having these problems are being granted the ability to refinance at a lower interest rate and extend the timeframe of their mortgage, but the individuals who are not in this negative state are not being granted the same opportunity.  So you have the irresponsible people who never should’ve taken out the loan in the first place being granted special priviliges, and those who have been cutting back and managing to pay their mortgage entirely and on time are not getting any such benefits or priviliges; instead, their taxes are going to help out their irresponsible neighbors instead.  I find this sickening.  Reward the ones who don’t deserve it, and punish those who do?  Our government exhibits such wonderful logic.

Yes, there is some blame to be laid at the feet of the lenders.  While the consumer should never have asked for such an astronomical loan when their income was so low, the lender should’ve evaluated their available monetary income to see right away it would never work in the long run.  But they didn’t.  Why?  Because it’s a business and the business isn’t concerned with how you’re going to make your payments, just that you make them.  And if you don’t make them, they take back your house.  They still come out at a loss, but they’re hoping that’s incentive enough for you to find a way to make good on the contract you signed with them when they agreed to give you the money.  Silly them, because they’re quickly finding that it’s not.

Now everyone is asking for a handout.  The mortgage companies want a bailout because they lost so much money from people who couldn’t afford to pay back the loans they took out.  The consumer because they’re losing their home because “the big bad lending company” took advantage of them.  Everyone’s pointing fingers and nobody’s willing to take the blame.  Both are at fault and neither will admit it.  Our economy did not randomly start spiraling downwards.  There are always factors that elicit a reaction.  This just happens to be one of the big ones.

I would like nothing more than to own a home right now.  I pay almost as much in apartment rent as I would to own a home and pay a mortgage, but I know better than that.  I know that I’m not ready, financially and otherwise, to own my own house just yet.  I’d like to, but I’m not quite there.  Could I get approved for a loan and jump in headfirst anyways?  Yes, I’m sure I could.  I have good credit and while my salary isn’t by any means huge, it’s enough to get a moderate home loan.  But I won’t do it because I know better.  I’m not a genius, I just have common sense.  All I dare to ask for and hope for is that the rest of America (and the world) exhibit signs of the same.  Sadly, I just don’t think it’s going to happen anytime soon.

It was only earlier this year that the California Supreme Court ruled that same-sex marriage was legal, and all the happy couples flocked to be wed.  They just wanted to show that them being gay by no means lessens their relationship or love for each other, and wanted to have that same level of committment and bond that everyone else gets to enjoy.  The supporters of proposition 8 said that they’re trying to “protect marriage” and make sure it doesn’t lose it’s value.  What the hell is wrong with these people?  How are they protecting it?  By getting divorces?  By constantly having extra-marital affairs?  By often not getting married and just being sexually promiscuous all their lives?  Show me how they’re backing up their own words.

The main argument is that the Bible defines marriage as between a man and a woman.  That’s fine.  I am by no means discounting this and saying it isn’t true.  Nor am I saying I interpret the Bible differently.  I’m merely stating that the United States of America is not supposed to be ruled by any one religion, nor should it’s laws be based off said religion.  Stating that the Bible is against gay marriage doesn’t amount to anything when it comes time to pass a law about the same subject.  We have a (supposed) separation of church and state for a reason, but when it’s convenient the religious leaders and followers will just so happen to forget about it.

Those that oppose Proposition 8 are still holding onto hope that absentee ballots still being tallied will tip the scales in their favor, but it doesn’t look like it’s going to happen.  It broke my heart to see pictures of the supporters of Proposition 8 dancing and smiling and hugging each other when it passed.  I didn’t see joy in those pictures – I saw hate.  Plain and simple.  They actively campaigned against granting equal rights and they see nothing wrong with it.  These people who so adamently defend their position on how the Bible states marriage is between a man and a woman seem to forget that it also says not to judge and to love your neighbor; that any judgment to be done will only be done by God.  Yet these people yelled and were spiteful to those against Proposition 8, and celebrated their victory as if they’d just bought their salvation.

I weep for America.

I voted in the 2004 election, and I’m sad to say it was for Bush instead of Kerry.  At the time, it seemed like the right thing to do.  We were in the middle of the war with Iraq and I didn’t think Kerry was suited to take on that situation and handle it in the best way for our soldiers and our country.  However, I stupidly believed Bush would be able to get his head out of his ass and fix it himself, but that was horribly dumb of me.  He’d just keep throwing soldiers and dollars at it, all the while pretending things were going to be resolved soon.  It’s 4 years since the last election and I won’t pretend things haven’t improved in Iraq, but I also won’t delude myself into thinking that we’re going to be pulling out anytime soon.  It’s idiocy.

The campaigning for this election has gone on for a record 21 months and I am so glad it will be over by tonight.  I’m tired of Obama this and McCain that.  I’m worn down.  Exhausted.  They’ve campaigned America to death and now I just don’t care.  Over time I’ve watched as it became more and more apparent that while this election will most likely have the greatest voter turnout in history, it will mainly be because all the uninformed Americans are going to come out to vote on the trendy candidate.

Each presidential candidates are supporters of things I support, and in opposition of things I oppose.  I wonder if they truly support and oppose all the things they campaign for.  Does Obama really care about Universal Healthcare?  Does McCain truly feel that certain types of guns should be banned from public purchase?  Do they both really oppose a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage?  How many of their standpoints have been decided for them based on the party they’re running for?

That’s why frustrates me about our government system.  If you’re for gay marriage, you can’t possibly be a Republican.  If you’re against abortion, you can’t possibly be a Democrat.  There’s no in between.  You’re one or the other, or you’re laughably considered an “independent” or “liberal”.  What’s even worse is that the big competition isn’t limited to just Republicans versus Democrats – it’s in-house as well!  For quite a while everyone was convinced Senator Hillary Clinton would be the Democratic presidential nominee, but then Obama campaigned as well and it was Democrat vs. Democrat until Clinton realized she wasn’t going to win the battle and gracefully stepped down.  Would I have voted for Clinton?  I don’t know.  But it irked me that it got to the point that even if I wanted to I wouldn’t be able to.  Why?  Because the electoral colleges threw their support behind Obama and Clinton was left in the dust.

It’s trendy voting.  If you gathered up 100 people who intend to vote for Obama and 100 who intend to vote for McCain and gave them a pop-quiz on the issues each candidate supports, I can almost guarantee you that half the people would fail the quiz.  Which of the candidates supports ANWR drilling?  Neither.  Which is in support of the Patriot Act?  Both.  Which one thinks minimum wage should be increased?  Obama.  Which one thinks same-sex unions aren’t a good idea, but wants to leave the decision up to the states (so he can avoid taking the backlash for the decision)?  McCain.  And who thinks it’s a bad idea to erect a border fence to prevent illegal immigration?  Neither.

Both candidates have ideals I support.  Both candidates have ideals I oppose.  That’s the difficult decision every American must wrestle with before choosing who he or she wants to place into a position of power.  But many Americans this year will be making the trendy decision.  Obama because he says he likes change.  McCain because he’s patriotic and wants to continue the war until we’ve “won”.  Obama because he’s African American.  McCain because his vice presidential running mate, Sarah Palin, is just oh-so-cute and a real American like us.  Blah blah blah blah blah.  Uninformed trendy voting everywhere!

I think it’s ridiculous that there has to be such a clear division between the two parties.  One party always blames the other for anything wrong.  The democrats all blame the republicans for the war because the president is republican.  The republicans all blame the democrats for the economic crisis because they’re the house majority right now.  Neither side accepting blame or truly working to make things better, just pointing fingers and dodging bullets.  I said it once and I’ll say it again – they’re all a bunch of little monkeys flinging poo.  Not doing anything of real value, just trying not to get hit themselves.

Were I to vote in this election, I wouldn’t be voting for the candidate I like more, I’d be voting the candidate I dislike least.  At this point, I couldn’t be any more frustrated with either one winning, so good luck America.  Either way, the next 4 years are going to be very interesting.

Just a few of the things I learned are listed below:

1. I learned that almost nothing in the world can surpass the joy of a little girl getting to meet her favorite princess.  Time and time again I witnessed young girls bounce up and down in barely contained excitement as they came face to face with the characters from their favorite Disney movies.  Unless you’ve seen it yourself, you can’t imagine the joy a little girl radiates when she walks up to Cinderella only to have the princess kneel down to give the young child a hug.  It is literally a dream come true for these girls to meet the princesses and hold a conversation, and to their credit, each and every princess had a smile on her face as she played the part to perfection.  I almost cried numerous times watching these small children, who moments before couldn’t stop talking, be struck speechless in awe of having just been hugged by Belle or Jasmine, or any of the others.
2. I learned that the joy of a child meeting their favorite Disney character is only slightly surpassed by the joy of the parents witnessing it.  I saw parents over and over again with tears in their eyes as they saw unbridled happiness in the eyes of their children.  There’s something to be said about a bond between parent and child being developed on a vacation like what I had, and you can almost see it happening right before your eyes.  The mother and father are just as happy as the child is when they meet the characters, and then you hear them talking about it as they walk away, and you know they’ll remember that moment for a long time to come.
3. I learned that not every parent is patient enough for the Disney experience.  For as many instances of children and parents having fun and laughing together, there were just as many times that I saw parents standing in line looking like they have a dozen other places they’d rather be, while the children did their best not to blink loudly for fear of being yelled at.  I saw one father yelling at his daughter to stop dancing around or else they’d turn around and go home – this was at 8:30 in the morning before the park even opened while we waited to be let in.  Nobody else was in line and she wasn’t hurting anybody; it was just very clear that she was overwhelmed and excited about coming to DisneyWorld and her father just couldn’t handle it.  Now I’ll be the first one to say that kids can be loud and fidgety (though Lord knows I’m the worst at both those), but when it comes to DisneyWorld, as a parent you just have to step back and tell yourself that your kid is going out of their mind with happiness and you need to let them enjoy it.  As long as they’re not bumping into people or being obnoxious, every other parent around you knows exactly what you’re going through and sympathizes.  Instead of being grumpy and frustrated, relate to the child.  Talk to them.  Ask why they’re so excited and share the experience with them.  I know I’m not a parent, but I’m smart enough to know that this is very important to developing a strong relationship with your children, and there were so many times when I couldn’t help but think that the parent wasn’t only ruining the experience of that moment, but potentially losing out on many moments left to come.
4. I learned that for the most part, Disney employees are some of the nicest and most genuinely caring people there are.  The first day we went to the Magic Kingdom I saw a little girl who had been separated from her father.  A random Disney cast member had come across her and was holding her hand and walking with her, talking in a soft and gentle voice and asking her for small details to help them find her dad.  She provided all the information into a small radio, and then stood around with the little girl in the hopes of seeing her father walk past looking for her.  While they looked, another employee who worked in the candy shop right behind where they were standing had overheard the whole situation, and brought out a bag of snacks for the little girl to distract her and calm her down.  Only a few moments later another employee walked over with the father, having heard his description on the radio and located him, and the dad and daughter were reunited.  It was touching.
5. I learned that I want a son.  Over and over again I saw infants and toddlers and my heartstrings were pulled.  I’ve always known that I want children someday, at least a boy and a girl, but never before has the desire been so strong.  And in this setting, it was only a son.  I kept seeing myself over and over again as a father to a little boy.  My heart broke over and over again the entire week as I saw parents holding their little kids, and I kept wondering “when will this be for me?”  I’m not ready now and I know that.  But it tears me up inside to know that it may be a long time before the timing is right and the opportunity is available.  Deep down I know that being a father is going to happen for me.  I just hope it’s not in the too distant future.

I enjoyed my vacation, both for the eye-opening and heartwarming experiences, as well as the general fun I had myself.  DisneyWorld is not just a place for kids, and anyone who thinks it is has either never been, or is not mentally in a place open to that kind of experience.  It sounds so hokey to say, but it’s just magical.  It’s like a whole different world there, and one I very much enjoyed visiting.

When I got to the pharmacy I asked for some more Sudafed, and decided to switch out the Zyrtec with Claritin to see if it worked any better.  The lady spent almost 5 minutes trying to ring me up for the medicine, and eventually handed them back to me and told me the system wouldn’t let her ring up both, and I’d have to choose one or the other.  When I asked why, she explained that purchasing both would put me over my allotted “gram limit” for the 30 day period since my last purchase.  Huh?

Apparently this is why they make you provide your driver’s license when purchasing medicine of any kind.  When I last bought my allergy medicine the system made a note of what I was purchasing and how much of it there was.  So when I went back on Tuesday to buy more, the system flagged it and said that I was purchasing too much in too short a time period, and that usually means I’m not actually using the medicine for it’s intended purposes, but to get high somehow.  Fantastic.  Having allergies makes me look like an junkie now.  Probably didn’t help that my eyes were bloodshot and I kept having to sniff loudly just to breathe.

In the end I had to decide just to get the Claritin so that I could remain under my “gram limit” for the month.  If someone is poor enough and inventive enough to need to make narcotics of any kind using allergy medicine, I say just let them.  They must have very sad lives and they need all the help they can get making it better.  Don’t make those of us legitimitely sick and miserable suffer by not giving us the medicine we need to get through the day simply on the offchance that we might do something inappropriate with the medication.  My sinuses can’t take much more, and now I’m just gonna have to tough it out.  Thank you very much to whoever thought up that idiotic rule.

When I first sat down to watch the debate I was actually looking forward to it.  I honestly had no clue it was going to be on tonight because – quite frankly – I didn’t care and had no interest in keeping up with the daily happenings of the presidential campaign.  However, once I realized I’d have to change the channel to avoid it, I decided that it might be worth watching.  How wrong I was.

It was not so much a professional debate as it was watching two grown adults squabble like children.  ”No, what I said was…”  ”Well, 8 years ago you said this…”  ”Well last week you insinuated this…”  ”Well a couple minutes ago you misrepresented that…”  I got so tired of it, and so did the moderator from what I could gleam of her few words.  She would address a question to the two candidates, and they’d sidestep and address a comment the other candidate had made during the previous round of questions.  During their tirade of defending themselves and tearing down the other, neither got around to answering quite a few of the new questions posed to them.  The moderator tried to reign them in, but they’d have none of it.  They would’ve been better suited in a child’s bouncy house with big cushioned boxing gloves on than in formal attire in front of the nation.

Biden would defend Obama and tear down McCain while Palin provided glowing praise of McCain and criticized Obama.  They went back and forth in this patter until I couldn’t remember the actual question that was even being discussed because they were referencing passed bills and proposed tax reforms that happened so many years ago, constantly trying to guide the conversation to a topic that made their presidential candidate look better.  Granted, I’m not so dumb as to not realize this is the whole point of the debate, but it was gone about utterly wrong and was a supreme disappointment to watch.

I’m embarrassed that these are the two choices I have to vote for.  Luckily, neither is the presidential candidate, but I’m afraid to tune in and watch an Obama vs. McCain debate for fear that it will be the same circus if not worse.  I dread the next two months leading up to the election.  The campaigning is only to get more intense.  If they were monkeys, they’d be flinging poo at this point.  If I were you, I’d duck and cover.

I ofter wonder if being smart holds me back.  I work in an IT/helpdesk role that supports tens of thousands of users within a global corporation.  I work on a team with some other incredibly smart and talented individuals, and we’re all good at what we do.  But there are days when it seems like the people we’re supporting are completely incapable of functioning on their own or reading to solve a problem rather than calling for help at the drop of a hat.  The analytical part of me just doesn’t comprehend that.

I could never race to someone else for the answer anytime something goes wrong – I’d be afraid of looking stupid.  I’d research it, look around, maybe ask a friend, pretty much doing everything in my power to resolve my own issue before I spend the time calling a helpdesk for assistance.  And even if I did have to call for help, I would never be as rude as some of the people I have to deal with on a daily basis.

To clarify this, I am not in any way saying I have a problem with people asking for help.  I do it frequently.  There is nothing embarrassing about having to admit you don’t know everything.  However, there is something to be said for making an effort before you make someone else do it for you.  I have nothing against naivety, but I absolutely despise blatant stupidity and voluntary idiocy.  That is, I strongly dislike those who make the conscious choice not to ever try to better themselves, always relying on others to pick up the slack.  These are the people I support.  These are the people with salaries 4 times what I make.  These are the faces behind Corporate America.

This is why I’m going to strive my lower my intelligence.  Perhaps if I appear stupid I’ll someday rise to a position of power instead of being subjugated into a role that supports those with influence.