And now for blog #3, the last for today. For the past year I have gone without a drop of alcohol. No hard liquor or mixed drinks or any alcohol of any kind. I started drinking before I was 21, not too often, but still more often than someone under the legal age should’ve been. For whatever reason, I have a rather high tolerance for alcohol and don’t really feel the effects until quite a bit more than those around me. That’s led to a few…drunken nights. I’ve never done anything out of control or anything I’ve had to regret the next day, but I’ve admittedly made myself sick on more than one occasion. After another such event last June, I decided to take a step back from alcohol for a little while, and that little while turned into a year.
Archive for the “Life” CategoryI know it’s been a long time since my last update, so let me first apologize for my absence and promise to try harder to be more present on my blog. I’ve had tons of things happen over the past few months that should’ve been written about, but I just couldn’t bring myself to sit down and hash it out. But a few weeks ago, while I was browsing the news feed on Facebook, I saw someone that I went to middle school with had posted a link to an obituary. When I clicked the link and read the obituary, I realized it was someone I had gone to school with all those years ago, and I just read the article in shock. Another year passes by, and another approaches just around the riverbend…I mean the corner. I’ve had some serious ups and downs this year, but looking around I know that lots of other people have too. I can’t pretend that my life was awful and that “2009 was the worst year ever” like I’ve heard so many times in the past few days. With social networking being what it is, Facebook and Twitter have been teeming with all the same-old-same-old colloquialisms about how this year was just awful and that hopefully next year will be better. But these are the same people who said the exact same thing last year, and will say the same next year. I had a mix of good and bad, but I won’t forget either to favor the other. Sometimes when I walk past a mirror, I actually do a double-take at the face staring back at me. I see my face, and I stare as if looking at a stranger. When I lock eyes with myself, I still see a little boy. I see the teenager who had no idea where his life was going, or how he was going to make it on his own. And the boy in the mirror looks back at me and seems to ask if I’m doing it right, living up to the ideal of what he thought it would be like. When I first decided to write this blog entry, I had it all planned out what I was going to say. I thought of so many different things to talk about and different memories to write about, but now that I’m sitting here ready to write it all out, it escapes me. I’ve been staring at the screen for a few moments with a blank stare, wondering where all of that went. I’m a pretty open person most of the time; I’d go so far as to say I actually rarely keep anything to myself. My mouth runs non-stop at any given time, but that doesn’t mean I don’t keep things to myself. Everybody has things they keep to themselves and share with only a select few, and this is one of those things. Something I don’t talk about very often because I just don’t know what to say about any of it. But for the first time, I’m gonna try. I’ve never really given it much thought, and when I realized that last night it bothered me. I need to think about it and remember it all. This will help. I hope. Today would’ve been my little sister’s 12th birthday. |
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