Sometimes when I walk past a mirror, I actually do a double-take at the face staring back at me.  I see my face, and I stare as if looking at a stranger.  When I lock eyes with myself, I still see a little boy.  I see the teenager who had no idea where his life was going, or how he was going to make it on his own.  And the boy in the mirror looks back at me and seems to ask if I’m doing it right, living up to the ideal of what he thought it would be like.

It’s hard sometimes for me to actually look at myself in the mirror and admit that time has passed, and that I’m an adult now.  I still see the me of high school and college sometimes, and I wonder what exactly has changed since then.  Obviously certain things have changed as time progressed, but I’m still essentially the same person I was a few years ago.

It’s hard to equate that child I see in the mirror with the person I am today.  The one who lives on his own and works a 40 hour week to pay his bills and survive from month to month.  The one who is in a loving relationship, when years ago I thought that I’d never find love.  Young though he is, the boy in the mirror feels like life is just going to go on as it has been going, being alone and desperate for someone to love and be loved by.

Time goes by both infinitely slowly and unerringly quickly.  A month can seem like a year, and a year can seem like a month.  Perception depends upon your experiences.  The face in the mirror tells me that I’ve experienced both.  I’ve seen time slow to an agonizing crawl, seemingly beating me over the head with life every single day.  I’ve also seen time fly by, with love and joy seemingly having just been introduced into my life, when in actuality they have been present for quite some time now.

The next time I see that face in the mirror, I’ll smile at him and I know he’ll smile back.  Because if I’m looking at him and remembering where I come from, then maybe he can look at me and see where he’s going.  And as crazy as things may seem sometimes, he needs to know that it’s all going to be just fine.