I realized earlier today/yesterday (depending on your frame of reference) that too long have I allowed myself to be unhealthy.  I’ve made excuses for myself and let them allow me to make all the bad decisions I shouldn’t be making.  Since I was laid off I have gained about 20 pounds.  That’s ridiculous.  At first I told myself that I was just laid off and deserved to take some time to relax and eat whatever I want and pretty much just mope around the apartment feeling sorry for myself.  Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months, and here I am over 260 pounds.  I share this embarrassing fact because I’m making some changes, and it’s time to be accountable for them – and this blog will help me do that.

I went shopping a few hours ago and spent more money than normal on groceries.  That’s because this time I didn’t buy ramen noodles and spaghettios and that sort of junk (that tastes oh-so-delicious).  This time I bought whole wheat pasta and turkey meat and bottled water instead of diet soda.  These choices are expensive, but ultimately worth it.  This was another one of my excuses for gaining weight – I’m unemployed and healthy food is more expensive than unhealthy food.  This is a true fact for the most part, but one that shouldn’t have been used as a crutch to let me gain so much weight.  I have stretch marks on my stomach people – it’s time for it all to stop.

The other huge change I made was that I decided to start going back to the gym.  The gym that I pay about $25 a month to not visit.  In fact, I looked in iCal and saw that the last time I worked out at the gym was September 2nd, 2008.  That’s pathetic.  For the past 9 months I’ve paid to not go to the gym because I kept telling myself that if I cancelled my membership, when I finally did decide to go back it would’ve cost more to rejoin.  I don’t think they charge $225 to join.  Money down the drain, but not anymore.  I’m starting back effective 1 hour ago.

I got off my ass and went to the gym at five minutes past midnight.  The place was practically empty as I prefer it to be, and I hiked upstairs and climbed up onto the elliptical trainer machine and began my workout.  I set a goal of 60 minutes and started pedaling/running my way to weight loss.  I had my headphones plugged into my iPod touch and laughed away the pounds watching “Family Guy” for a little while.  Once the first 20 minutes had passed, I realized I wasn’t going to make it an hour.  I know I’m going to make it there eventually because that’s what I used to do back when I was visiting the gym on a consistent basis, but 60 minutes the first time out just wasn’t feasible tonight.

I settled for half an hour and drove home physically exhausted.  I took a shower and then started writing this.  I’m nurturing my second bottle of water in the past 2 hours and I’m hoping to continue drinking it all tomorrow/later today and the days to follow.  I’ve made excuses for myself for too long.  It’s time for some changes.