Comments on: Friends come and go http://therealjamesdean.com/2008/12/09/friends-come-and-go/ Rebel, still in search of his cause Tue, 24 Aug 2010 18:25:18 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Dean http://therealjamesdean.com/2008/12/09/friends-come-and-go/comment-page-1/#comment-239 Dean Thu, 18 Dec 2008 16:05:22 +0000 http://therealjamesdean.com/?p=273#comment-239 @M.O.M. - I don't believe he faked being my friend either. I know deep down that our friendship was real and solid, up until recently that is. It hurts to know that ultimately I was a sacrifice he was willing to make for something else he wanted more, but we all must make choices in our life and they aren't always what everyone else thinks is best. He has to live his life, and I have to continue living mine. @M.O.M. – I don’t believe he faked being my friend either. I know deep down that our friendship was real and solid, up until recently that is. It hurts to know that ultimately I was a sacrifice he was willing to make for something else he wanted more, but we all must make choices in our life and they aren’t always what everyone else thinks is best. He has to live his life, and I have to continue living mine.

]]> By: M.O.M. http://therealjamesdean.com/2008/12/09/friends-come-and-go/comment-page-1/#comment-234 M.O.M. Sun, 14 Dec 2008 14:42:05 +0000 http://therealjamesdean.com/?p=273#comment-234 Sometimes friends are your friends because of what you're going through, or what you share in common. When those things change, so can the friendship. Good example: A long time ago (let's just leave it at that, so I don't age myself) I was drawn into a friendship with a fellow employee. We seem to just click. We hung out together, liked the same TV shows & movies. The same things seemed to annoy us, and we'd talk endlessly about all the injustices being done to us, as well as others. She moved away, and we only saw each other a couple of times over the next decade, and didn't talk on the phone as much as I thought we would -- but still good friends, just busy with life. Fast forward: Over the last 10 years I've changed a lot (you know, you were there). I gave up on all the "gloom and doom" talking/thinking. I'm a much more positive thinking/feeling person, now. I choose to see the good in things -- I don't go around with blinders on, I just don't look for the negative of what could be & focus on the positive that can come out of it. That's mostly due to my relationship with the Lord. I now know that I have Him to lean on & even when things look bad, or are bad, I know He'll get me through it and can make something good come out of somethings bad. It gets me out of bed in the morning Anyway, when I visited my friend years later, I found I was uncomfortable around her. I thought she had changed. Why was she always saying negative things? Was she just going through a bad time? All day long I listened to her foretell bad fortune, misfortune, "gloom and doom" negativity. I tried to steer her thoughts away from that, but no matter what I said, she always had a negative comment to match. I didn't enjoy my visit, but stayed in touch hoping I could help by having my positive attitude rub off on her. It didn't work. Then I talked to another friend of both of ours who politely told me, "Cindy, you used to be just like that." Wham! Why didn't I put two and two together? I don't believe for a minute that your friend faked being your friend for all these years. I do believe that he's going through something right now & he may or may not resolve it to your liking or approval. If he does come back to the person you knew him to be, leaving the door open now will help him to apologize later. If he stays on this path for some time, it won't matter. I've never told my friend my feelings, and I should, and I will. At least you told your friend -- that's a true friend, one who will tell you they think you're wrong. I sin by omission more than any other way. I want to help my friend "see the light" just as you tried to help your friend see the error of his ways. But when people are deceived, they can't see the truth, we can always just pray for them. We have to learn to let go of things of which we have no control. Don't speak bad of him in anger, just speak sadness at a good friendship gone astray -- or run its course. I love you, and will be your friend free of charge :-) Sometimes friends are your friends because of what you’re going through, or what you share in common. When those things change, so can the friendship. Good example: A long time ago (let’s just leave it at that, so I don’t age myself) I was drawn into a friendship with a fellow employee. We seem to just click. We hung out together, liked the same TV shows & movies. The same things seemed to annoy us, and we’d talk endlessly about all the injustices being done to us, as well as others. She moved away, and we only saw each other a couple of times over the next decade, and didn’t talk on the phone as much as I thought we would — but still good friends, just busy with life. Fast forward: Over the last 10 years I’ve changed a lot (you know, you were there). I gave up on all the “gloom and doom” talking/thinking. I’m a much more positive thinking/feeling person, now. I choose to see the good in things — I don’t go around with blinders on, I just don’t look for the negative of what could be & focus on the positive that can come out of it. That’s mostly due to my relationship with the Lord. I now know that I have Him to lean on & even when things look bad, or are bad, I know He’ll get me through it and can make something good come out of somethings bad. It gets me out of bed in the morning Anyway, when I visited my friend years later, I found I was uncomfortable around her. I thought she had changed. Why was she always saying negative things? Was she just going through a bad time? All day long I listened to her foretell bad fortune, misfortune, “gloom and doom” negativity. I tried to steer her thoughts away from that, but no matter what I said, she always had a negative comment to match. I didn’t enjoy my visit, but stayed in touch hoping I could help by having my positive attitude rub off on her. It didn’t work. Then I talked to another friend of both of ours who politely told me, “Cindy, you used to be just like that.” Wham! Why didn’t I put two and two together?
I don’t believe for a minute that your friend faked being your friend for all these years. I do believe that he’s going through something right now & he may or may not resolve it to your liking or approval. If he does come back to the person you knew him to be, leaving the door open now will help him to apologize later. If he stays on this path for some time, it won’t matter. I’ve never told my friend my feelings, and I should, and I will. At least you told your friend — that’s a true friend, one who will tell you they think you’re wrong. I sin by omission more than any other way. I want to help my friend “see the light” just as you tried to help your friend see the error of his ways. But when people are deceived, they can’t see the truth, we can always just pray for them. We have to learn to let go of things of which we have no control. Don’t speak bad of him in anger, just speak sadness at a good friendship gone astray — or run its course. I love you, and will be your friend free of charge :-)

]]> By: Dan http://therealjamesdean.com/2008/12/09/friends-come-and-go/comment-page-1/#comment-231 Dan Fri, 12 Dec 2008 23:01:23 +0000 http://therealjamesdean.com/?p=273#comment-231 Am I exempt from the $10 fee for being a Disney Cast Member? :) Am I exempt from the $10 fee for being a Disney Cast Member? :)

]]> By: Dean http://therealjamesdean.com/2008/12/09/friends-come-and-go/comment-page-1/#comment-225 Dean Wed, 10 Dec 2008 20:50:07 +0000 http://therealjamesdean.com/?p=273#comment-225 @CreativeCrasher - I hang out with a few, but not all of them. And I don't believe you fully grasped the concept of the $10 fee sir... @CreativeCrasher – I hang out with a few, but not all of them. And I don’t believe you fully grasped the concept of the $10 fee sir…

]]> By: CreativeCrasher http://therealjamesdean.com/2008/12/09/friends-come-and-go/comment-page-1/#comment-224 CreativeCrasher Wed, 10 Dec 2008 20:42:14 +0000 http://therealjamesdean.com/?p=273#comment-224 I still hang out with my best friends from high school. So I really dont' understand. You can pay me 10 bucks and I will be your friend. I still hang out with my best friends from high school. So I really dont’ understand. You can pay me 10 bucks and I will be your friend.

]]> By: Tinamarie http://therealjamesdean.com/2008/12/09/friends-come-and-go/comment-page-1/#comment-223 Tinamarie Wed, 10 Dec 2008 16:13:59 +0000 http://therealjamesdean.com/?p=273#comment-223 LOL...$10 my butt...to funny I do understand what you mean and it is a part of life. But starting out you always think you will always be friends. Below is how things worked out for me: School Years = Do not talk to a single person (LMAO) Military Years = My true friends....I stay in touch with most of them. They have always been there. They take me as I am as I do them. We can argue and turn around the same minute and be cool. The BEST girls I know. If I need help with ANYTHING they are always there and I for them. We may be all over the world but we remember who is family. What's really funny, I am closer to them then some of my family. College Years = Talked to them for a few months and then things faded. We all moved to different parts of the country. (LMAO) Work Years = Stayed friends with some for sometime but again things start to fade. I am happy with the ones that have stayed in my life. I love them all. They make me stay true to who I am and accept who I am. They all have the quailities I value "Trust." LOL…$10 my butt…to funny

I do understand what you mean and it is a part of life. But starting out you always think you will always be friends.

Below is how things worked out for me:

School Years = Do not talk to a single person (LMAO)

Military Years = My true friends….I stay in touch with most of them. They have always been there. They take me as I am as I do them. We can argue and turn around the same minute and be cool. The BEST girls I know. If I need help with ANYTHING they are always there and I for them. We may be all over the world but we remember who is family. What’s really funny, I am closer to them then some of my family.

College Years = Talked to them for a few months and then things faded. We all moved to different parts of the country. (LMAO)

Work Years = Stayed friends with some for sometime but again things start to fade.

I am happy with the ones that have stayed in my life. I love them all. They make me stay true to who I am and accept who I am. They all have the quailities I value “Trust.”

]]> By: Ian http://therealjamesdean.com/2008/12/09/friends-come-and-go/comment-page-1/#comment-221 Ian Wed, 10 Dec 2008 09:40:42 +0000 http://therealjamesdean.com/?p=273#comment-221 I know just what you mean and it sucks. However it's a part of life and we just have to deal with it. I know just what you mean and it sucks. However it’s a part of life and we just have to deal with it.

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