Remember when you were young and your parents told you that most of the people you were best friends in high school would disappear from your life after high school? Remember not believing them? Mhmm. Now, do you remember when almost all those people disappeared? I do. I remember thinking I was so close with some people, and then when graduation came and I no longer saw them every day, things just started to fade. Then I made new friends in college and things seemed to be different. But ultimately, it was just the same.
I’ve kept in touch with just a select few of my friends from high school. Some are mere acquaintances to this day, but some are still very close personal friends who I see regularly. The same thing happened with friends I made in college. I made quite a few friends and used to hang out with them all the time, some more than others. And as of now, I am still friends with only one of them.
I made one friendship in college that I saw as lasting forever. Corny I know, but it’s true. We were buddies. Pals. We had no secrets…or so I thought. When everything came out in the open, I tried to see if it could work, but it was obvious it couldn’t. Every time I tried to mend fences, they’d be knocked down again. Every time I tried to give another chance for honesty, another lie surfaced. I was yelled at for being suspicious, but is it really suspicious if it turns out to be true?
Like I said though, I’m still in touch with someone else from college. Someone who I had never really thought of as a close friend, but over the past few months we’ve hung out a couple times a month and we always have a good time. We usually hang out and just watch TV and talk about work and other random stuff, but it’s nice. I think on some level, this always made the other friend jealous since we never hang out anymore.
Life is hard. Growing up and seeing people for who they truly are is difficult. But you can’t hold onto the past. For years after high school I’d randomly call up old friends and see if they wanted to hang out. Usually they didn’t. Rarely they did, but even then it was just the once and then I’d never hear back. Same with college but to a lesser degree. I’d try and stay in touch for a short while, but ultimately I just gave up.
Like now. I’m done trying. I’ve always felt responsible for chasing people down and apologizing and begging to be taken back even when I hadn’t done anything wrong. I’d rather do that and get a “friend” back than to lose that friend. That was the old James Dean. No longer. I’m my own person and I don’t need friends like that anymore. Nobody does. When I do something that has negative consequences, I stand up and take them. I didn’t always, but I do now. I expect the same of others. You can’t go around in life expecting others to take the blame for something you did just to make you feel better. That isn’t how it works.
Times are changing. Perhaps for the better. In life, friends come and go. The position of my “best friend” has recently become available again. I’m accepting applications. Don’t forget the $10 processing fee.
Entries (RSS)
I know just what you mean and it sucks. However it’s a part of life and we just have to deal with it.
LOL…$10 my butt…to funny
I do understand what you mean and it is a part of life. But starting out you always think you will always be friends.
Below is how things worked out for me:
School Years = Do not talk to a single person (LMAO)
Military Years = My true friends….I stay in touch with most of them. They have always been there. They take me as I am as I do them. We can argue and turn around the same minute and be cool. The BEST girls I know. If I need help with ANYTHING they are always there and I for them. We may be all over the world but we remember who is family. What’s really funny, I am closer to them then some of my family.
College Years = Talked to them for a few months and then things faded. We all moved to different parts of the country. (LMAO)
Work Years = Stayed friends with some for sometime but again things start to fade.
I am happy with the ones that have stayed in my life. I love them all. They make me stay true to who I am and accept who I am. They all have the quailities I value “Trust.”
I still hang out with my best friends from high school. So I really dont’ understand. You can pay me 10 bucks and I will be your friend.
@CreativeCrasher – I hang out with a few, but not all of them. And I don’t believe you fully grasped the concept of the $10 fee sir…
Am I exempt from the $10 fee for being a Disney Cast Member?
Sometimes friends are your friends because of what you’re going through, or what you share in common. When those things change, so can the friendship. Good example: A long time ago (let’s just leave it at that, so I don’t age myself) I was drawn into a friendship with a fellow employee. We seem to just click. We hung out together, liked the same TV shows & movies. The same things seemed to annoy us, and we’d talk endlessly about all the injustices being done to us, as well as others. She moved away, and we only saw each other a couple of times over the next decade, and didn’t talk on the phone as much as I thought we would — but still good friends, just busy with life. Fast forward: Over the last 10 years I’ve changed a lot (you know, you were there). I gave up on all the “gloom and doom” talking/thinking. I’m a much more positive thinking/feeling person, now. I choose to see the good in things — I don’t go around with blinders on, I just don’t look for the negative of what could be & focus on the positive that can come out of it. That’s mostly due to my relationship with the Lord. I now know that I have Him to lean on & even when things look bad, or are bad, I know He’ll get me through it and can make something good come out of somethings bad. It gets me out of bed in the morning Anyway, when I visited my friend years later, I found I was uncomfortable around her. I thought she had changed. Why was she always saying negative things? Was she just going through a bad time? All day long I listened to her foretell bad fortune, misfortune, “gloom and doom” negativity. I tried to steer her thoughts away from that, but no matter what I said, she always had a negative comment to match. I didn’t enjoy my visit, but stayed in touch hoping I could help by having my positive attitude rub off on her. It didn’t work. Then I talked to another friend of both of ours who politely told me, “Cindy, you used to be just like that.” Wham! Why didn’t I put two and two together?
I don’t believe for a minute that your friend faked being your friend for all these years. I do believe that he’s going through something right now & he may or may not resolve it to your liking or approval. If he does come back to the person you knew him to be, leaving the door open now will help him to apologize later. If he stays on this path for some time, it won’t matter. I’ve never told my friend my feelings, and I should, and I will. At least you told your friend — that’s a true friend, one who will tell you they think you’re wrong. I sin by omission more than any other way. I want to help my friend “see the light” just as you tried to help your friend see the error of his ways. But when people are deceived, they can’t see the truth, we can always just pray for them. We have to learn to let go of things of which we have no control. Don’t speak bad of him in anger, just speak sadness at a good friendship gone astray — or run its course. I love you, and will be your friend free of charge
@M.O.M. – I don’t believe he faked being my friend either. I know deep down that our friendship was real and solid, up until recently that is. It hurts to know that ultimately I was a sacrifice he was willing to make for something else he wanted more, but we all must make choices in our life and they aren’t always what everyone else thinks is best. He has to live his life, and I have to continue living mine.