I got a call this morning while I was at work and when I answered it, an automated message told me I was getting a Collect call from Arlington jail.  However, because it was on my cell phone I wasn’t able to accept the charges to find out who it was that was calling me.  It gave me the option to input credit card information to accept the call and I just hung up figuring it was either a scam, or the person trying to call would find another way.  Sure enough, I got a call a few moments later from a bail bonds business informing me that my “friend” Eric was in jail and he had given my name and number as someone who could bail him out.  The question is…would I want to?

Eric and I used to be really close.  Best friends and all that stuff.  Worked together, hung out together, even lived together for 6 months while I was in college.  But it was during the time that we lived together that the friendship went sour and we never fully recovered from that.  I didn’t talk to him for over a year, and didn’t see him for even longer than that.  He wouldn’t admit he’d done anything wrong, and I wouldn’t admit that I had either.  We were both stubborn, and the friendship died off because of it.

Ultimately, it was for the best.  He had made some bad choices in his life (consistently) and felt no remorse or shame for doing so.  It had always irked me, but he had always treated me nicely and stuck up for me when a situation warranted it, and so I didn’t let his life decisions influence our friendship.  That was a mistake I still kick myself for.  Even if you care about someone, their actions will always eventually come back to bite you in the ass, even if you think they’d never do something like that to you.

A little over a year ago Eric contacted me telling me that he was having trouble holding down a job and couldn’t afford anywhere to live and because of the aforementioned bad choices, he had no one else to turn to.  I hesitated, but ultimately allowed him to move in with me for a short time.  He slept on the couch and had all his belongings piled up in a corner of my living room.  Because trust was still an issue, I told him he couldn’t be in the apartment when I was home, and as such I never gave him a key.

Well, he didn’t like that much and one day I was getting ready to leave and he and I left the apartment, I realized that the bar on the sliding glass door had been taken down and the lock itself opened.  Essentially, he had made it so he could get back in the apartment as soon as I left.  I don’t know what he would’ve done if I hadn’t caught this, but he didn’t get the chance; I locked it back and left the apartment without letting him know I’d caught him.  Once I drove off I text messaged him that I was done helping and I would let him know when he could come back for his stuff.  What followed was an afternoon filled with belligerent text messages telling me that I was no help and didn’t trust him and he didn’t know why, which only intensified when I put his stuff outside on the patio and told him he could come get it when he had a chance.

Since that fallout I learned that he joined the Army and he contacted me wanting to patch things up, telling me things had changed and he wanted to make things right.  I foolishly believed him.  I allowed contact a couple times and briefly believed things would be different.  Then the call came today that he was in jail and I was the one he was counting on to bail him out.

So I ask myself – should I?  Is it worth it?  Part of me wants to let him sit there and suffer and realize there are consequences for his actions and that I’m not his rescuer.  Another part of me knows that even if I bail him out, there will still be consequences for whatever it is he did, and this is just to help him not have to sit there and wait.  Granted, he may end up right back there for a long time without me being able to save him again, so me bailing him out now would only be for a short time and would be a waste of money.  But on the other hand, even though we’re not close friends anymore, we once were and there’s something in me that wants to still help due to what was once there.  I don’t want to leave him there out of spite.  Again, part of me knows that he did something wrong and should be there, but ultimately he will end up serving a sentence of some time for any crime he committed – must it start now?  I feel like I should do what little I can, but I also want to wash my hands of the whole situation and consider this a way to achieve closure.

So I pose my question to the masses – what would you do?  Would you turn away and allow someone to sit in jail due to a result of their own actions?  Or would you step in and provide what assistance you’re able to provide?  Would you say that turnabout is fair play?  Or that all is forgiven?  For the sake of the discussion, at this time I will not be answering my own question.  Whether I bail him out or leave him there, I want to know what others think first.  The real twist is, by the time everyone provides their own comments and advise, I will have already either gone and bailed him out, or called and advised that I will not be coming.  Let the discussion begin.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 24th, 2008 at 12:39 pm and is filed under Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.